Bumper Humor
The following humorous bumper stickers were posted on the Internet.
TIME IS WHAT KEEPS THINGS FROM HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE.
I DIDN'T FIGHT MY WAY TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN TO BE A VEGETARIAN.
IF WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT ANIMALS, WHY ARE THEY MADE WITH MEAT?
I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT.
IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP, BUT YOU EAT BETTER.
LOVE: TWO VOWELS, TWO CONSONANTS, TWO FOOLS.
ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS, THE PROBLEM DOESN'T EXIST.
SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE ONLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO KILL THEM.
PRIDE IS WHAT WE HAVE. VANITY IS WHAT OTHERS HAVE.
FORGET ABOUT WORLD PEACE. VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL.
WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
GIVE ME AMBIGUITY OR GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE.
WE HAVE ENOUGH YOUTH, HOW ABOUT A FOUNTAIN OF "SMART"?
MAKE IT IDIOT PROOF AND SOMEONE WILL MAKE A BETTER IDIOT.
HE WHO LAUGHS LAST THINKS SLOWEST.
I SMILE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU'RE UNIQUE, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
LOTTERY: A TAX ON PEOPLE WHO ARE BAD AT MATH.
VERY FUNNY SCOTTY. NOW BEAM DOWN MY CLOTHES.
PURITANISM: THE HAUNTING FEAR THAT SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE MAY BE HAPPY.
CONSCIOUSNESS: THAT ANNOYING TIME BETWEEN NAPS.
WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
THREE KINDS OF PEOPLE: THOSE WHO CAN COUNT AND THOSE WHO CAN'T.
EVER STOP TO THINK, AND FORGET TO START AGAIN?
I LIKE YOU BUT I WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU WORKING WITH SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES.
LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION; I CAN FIND IT MYSELF.
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