Another example of a profile

Another example of a profile.

Language lesson

When It's Okay to Mix Past and Present Tenses

When It's Okay to Mix Past and Present Tenses

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This is an example, which I made up, of how present and past tenses can be used in the same article for rhetorical purposes; that is, to best present the material. The legal statements are not factual; I made them up for the occasion:

A man gets on a bus. He finds he doesn't have enough change to pay his fare. An argument ensues and the driver insists the man get off the bus. The man becomes irate with the driver and they struggle on the bus. The man sustains an injury to his wrist and sues the bus company. Who was at fault?
    According to the law, a person who is asked by a county employee to remove himself from a public vehicle must comply with the order to do. If there has been a violation of his rights, he has the recourse to legal redress at a later date.  But he cannot defy an order to remove himself from the vehicle.
    Therefore the man who boarded the bus is not entitled to legal damages for his wrist injury, etc.

This is correct because obviously the writer is in control of his material and the reader senses it. But compare with the version below, which poorly mixes tenses:

A man gets on a bus. He found he didn't have enough change to pay his fare. An argument ensues and the driver insisted the man get off the bus. The man became irate with the driver and they struggle on the bus. The man sustained an injury to his wrist and sues the bus company. Who was at fault?
 
Can you see the difference? This mixture of past and present tenses is wrong and confusing, without rhetorical purpose. The purpose of mixing tenses in the first sample was to bring the legal situation close to the reader, as if it were happening in front of the reader's eyes, before switching to the past tense to discuss the legal issues involved.

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A difference in choice of words

IN THESE TWO news items, a Taiwan English-language newspaper and a US English-language newspaper both refer to their respective president's time in office. But notice that the Taiwan newspaper uses the political word "power," while the US newspaper uses the administrative term, "office."

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Suggestions for your Film Review

Here are some questions to consider regarding your review of How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying:

1. The music (single out the best song or songs).
2. The lyrics. (To read all the lyrics go here.) How lyrics develop plot, character, or tone (wit).
3. The acting. (Main actors, but also supporting cast.)
4. The story.
5. Comparison with other musicals by Frank Loesser. (Guys and Dolls is in the library.)
6. Comparison with other musicals by anyone else. (My Fair Lady, West Side Story, etc.)
7. Tone (satire, farce, comedic, romantic, or mix of tones). Was it satisfactory? Funny?
8. Scenes (singled out to illustrate lyrics, music, acting, staging, dancing, etc.).
9. Dances (choreography).
10. Special cinematic devices (for example, in the opening number, as Ponty sings of going "up" the elevator goes down).
11. Direction (consider direction from the point of view of tone, pace, acting, staging of scenes, etc.).
12. Reception. Critical or audience reception of the film.

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Language Lesson: Understanding the Pun ("paronomasia) (click to ENLARGE)

"As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out." (MARK TWAIN)

Pix

Bill Cosby's Musings: An Analysis of Epitome

Students,
Below is a style analysis of epitome by editing.
Epitome reduces a composition by taking away from style but keeping essential content. This will (to some degree) be from the writer's point of view. So the best way is to model the exercise as I did below. I have highlighted in blue and struck through all "padding" of style and kept the essential content.
I have not, however, added coherence strategies, for lack of time. Only in a few cases did I show coherence by adding bracketed words [ ] in the text.
Finally, this is by no means the final draft of an epitome. The examples that Cosby gives could be reduced to essence, if one finds the right words.
Here is an example where the ideal is the reverse of what you're are usually asked to do, that is, go to lower levels of generality. In epitome, you must learn to go to higher levels of generality. Instead of warning oneself, "Be specific!" one warns oneself, "Be general! Omit, omit, omit! But the good writer knows when or what to omit.
Words can sometimes be used synonymously. Writers decide on shades of meaning.
Some writers write, for example, "epitome, or summary," as if those words meant the same. That's fine.
So "eptiome and summary" can be seen as the same or different. But it's not hard to argue the two are different.
A summary reduces not only by style but by content too. It aims for higher levels of generality than does an epitome.
There are differences among summaries too, but these are matters of published length. A TV guide could summarize a movie in one sentence:
"The Terminator. A robot is programmed to destroy the lives of people to prevent the birth of unwanted leaders in the future. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger."
This summary (called a capsule review) can be enlarged depending on the space allotted or the purpose of the publication. For example, some evaluation might be included, reference to the director, interesting facts, etc.
But there's no question of coming close to an epitome, which would include the essence of the movies details, specific highlights, etc. in reduced form.
A longer summary would look like this:
"The Terminator. The first of the Terminator films and still the best. A robot is programmed to destroy the lives of people to prevent the birth of unwanted future leaders. The film combines social commentary and fast action in an effective way. Superb special effects and well-crafted scenes. The screenplay includes funny dialogue and political commentary. A must-see for fans of action flicks. Well acted, with Arnold Schwarzenegger in one of his best roles as the killer terminator. Forcefully directed by James Cameron."
Now an epitome of the movie would reduce the plot but keep the basic story and even some dialogue. This is called a "digest," as in a book digest; say Wuthering Heights can be reduced to 200 pages. In fact, graded (ESL) readers reduce big volumes to, say, 60 pages! You can find these in Caves Bookstores. It would be too long to give as an example here. So instead, I will give an epitome of Bill Cosby's Musings. First, by contrast, I include a summary:

"Gerald Boyd questions comedian Bill Cosby's criticism of black subculture values, which Cosby argues leads to one-parent families, substandard education, and poverty. Boyd claims the media has misused these comments instead of taking a closer look at the causes of the problems, such as culture values that encourage pregnancy among young black girls."
Note the higher level of generality involved. An epitome would look like this:
Recently, comedian Bill Cosby accused black families of poor parenting. The media exposed these comments with little interest in their causes.
Cosby accused black parents of exposing their children to obscene rap music, spending more money on their children's fashionable clotheswear than for educational aids.
Black mothers were castigated for promiscuous sex, leading to fatherless families. Despite unusual names black mothers give their children, the children end up in jail. Cosby concluded that black people must stop playing the role of victim.
Studies show that single parents raise half of black children, while ten million back Americans live below poverty level. School dropout rates among black children is nearly double that of whites, while Black teenagers are more likely to get pregnant or go to jail.
But the causes are ignored. A former reporter for The Washington Post, who studied black subculture, concluded pregnancy was a status symbol among young black girls. He argues the media should explore the causes instead of just exposing the problem.

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BILL COSBY'S MUSINGS

By Gerald Boyd

For weeks, comedian Bill Cosby has been attacking the parenting
failures and personal values of some African-Americans, and it's been
easy to turn his comments into a big story. In fact, it's been too easy.
Instead of using Cosby's assertions as a starting point for a serious
examination of what is really going on in the lives of African-Americans,
and especially the urban poor, news organizations have presented them
with little if any scrutiny. Occasionally, they have brought on
predictable talking heads to debate his charges, but not in a way that
provides real illumination or clarity.
It's the same old song. When it comes to matters involving race or
class, the media often opt for the superficial, rather than expending the
time and resources to determine what really is happening. That's the
case in terms of Cosby's remarks.
The charges, in a number of forums and media outlets, have been
explosive. He has said of black parents: "Lower economic people are not
holding up their end in this deal. They are not parenting. They are
buying things for kids -- $500 sneakers for what? And won't spend $200
for 'Hooked on Phonics.'" And of black women: "Five, six children -- the
same woman -- eight, 10 different husbands or whatever. Pretty soon,
you are going to have DNA cards to tell who you are making love to. You
don't know who this is. It might be your grandmother." And of black
youth, he said: "... with names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed
and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail."
Such rantings have made for great sound bites with Cosby fuming
about maladies common to black communities. He puts the onus on
blacks themselves, arguing that they have to stop playing the role of
victim.
Parents are obviously at least partly responsible for the success of
their children -- a point Cosby has hammered home in the media. But
why some are falling down on the job is the real issue here. To suggest
that's it's simply a lack of will is superficial, at best.
News organizations give us Cosby blasting obscenity-laden rap being
played by parents on their car stereos with children seated in the back,
or kids wearing their hats backward and their pants swinging low. But
does any of this really explain why the problems plaguing minorities
continue to exist from one generation to the next?
To say that these issues are complicated hardly begins to describe the
challenge the media face in trying to explain what is really happening.
News organizations encountered a similar test in the 1960s as they
sought to present the story of race in America. But in many ways that
challenge was tame. Race was a story full of heroes and villains, and
blacks wanting and deserving to be treated as equals. Today, the story of
race is one full of paradoxes. On some fronts, there has been clear
progress, yet too many blacks have not just been left behind, but are not
even in the game. Blacks are tired of having to explain their thinking to
whites, and whites are tired of having to listen.
In today's world, according to the Joint Center for Political and
Economic Studies, single parents now raise more than half of black
children. That's one reason why almost 10 million African-Americans
are living below the poverty level with annual incomes of less than
$15,000. Children who complete high school are likely to go to college,
but the percentage of blacks dropping out is nearly double that of whites.
And black teenagers are far more likely to become pregnant than their
white counterparts, or to end up in jail.
Those are the facts, or the headlines. But they say little about the why
-- and more important, [or] what can be done to end such woes.
Once Leon Dash, then a reporter at The Washington Post, spent more
than a year in a D.C. housing project to explore why teenage girls were
becoming pregnant at an alarming rate. What he found was surprising
and revealing.The [that] teenagers regarded motherhood as a badge of honor
rather than the yoke it would become. That's the kind of reporting we
need today.
It's great that such a prominent figure as Cosby would call attention
to some of the critical issues overlooked by a media now dwelling on war,
politics and international strife. If only the media would take his cue and
dig beneath the surface, they would be doing a far better public service
than simply airing some provocative sound bites.

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HOW DO I LOVE YOU? (Being a parody of the famous sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.)

HOW DO I LOVE YOU?

(Being a parody of the famous love sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning,
using the same rhyme scheme: ABBAABBACDCDCD, but written from a child to its parent.)

How do I love you? Let me tell you, Dad!
I love you to the sum of all you have
In cash and credit cards, and what you gave
To me this year in gifts. Still, I am sad
That I don't have the Rolls I wish I had—
Or that new Macintosh. And how I crave
To own the Gucci boots my classmates rave
About! O Father! I am going mad
Trying to put in words the love I feel
For you, and how I think about you all
The time—as when I want to have a meal
In an expensive bistro, or I call
You on my cell phone when a discount deal
Is advertised in a chic fashion mall:
It's then I love you with the greatest zeal!

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Below is Browning's original sonnet.

HOW DO I LOVE THEE?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

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Next Assignment (for 31 December 2008)

Students,
YOUR NEXT ASSIGNMENT will be to make a Cheat Sheet. This Cheat Sheet will contain all the information you need to know about writing a basic school text, including centering, paragraphing, spelling, ellipsis, footnoting, hyphens, dashes: the list is endless.
    Each Cheat Sheet should be individual in its approach; thus each will be different from any other student's, both in form and content.
    A Cheat Sheet is for the student's needs; hence there is no point in doing it like someone else. Each student will have different weaknesses; and different ways to keep a record of wrong and correct ways of doing something.
    It may be written out in sentence form with examples; there may just be an example. the equal sign may be used to link ideas, or typography may be used for the same purpose (novel, "poem," "song," emphasis, Name of Title at top of page, etc.).
    In addition to composing this Cheat Sheet, you will also go to the front of the class and lecture on each item, informing your classmates about which information you're reminding yourself in your Cheat Sheet.
    You will use the Communication Triangle in composing your Cheat Sheet (in fact, you may wish to include the CT in your Cheat Sheet). You will use the CT by asking yourself what, as a writer, you would need to know, assuming you wrote a good and comprehensive composition, including footnotes, references to newspapers, etc.

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A Secretary Is Not a Toy

A SECRETARY IS NOT A TOY

from the 1961 Broadway musical,

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

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To hear this performance, go here. This seems to be the best version on youtube. Lyrics are below. The word "secretary" is repeated numerous times.

BRATT:
Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
A secretary is not a toy,
No my boy
Not a toy to fondle and dandle* [bounce on knee; pet
Or playfully handle
In search of some puerile* joy. [childish
No, a secretary is not,
Definitely not a toy.

3 MALES:
You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt!
We wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Bratt!
It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt!

MALE ENSEMBLE:
A secretary is not a toy,
No my boy,
not a toy.

So do not go jumping for joy,
Boy! A secretary is not,
A secretary is not,
A secretary is not a toy,

FEMALE ENSEMBLE:
A secretary is not to be
Used for play therapy*. [counseling
Be good to the girl you employ, boy;
Remember, no matter what
Neurotic* trouble you've got, [psychological
A secretary is not a toy.

She's a highly specialized key
Component of operation unity
A fine and sensitive mechanism
To serve the office community
With a mother at home
She supports.

FRUMP:
And you'll find nothing like her at F.A.O. Schwartz!

SMITTY:
A secretary is not a pet,
Nor an erector set*. [child's building toy

FRUMP & SMITTY:
It happened to Charlie McCoy, boy!
They fired him like a shot
The day the fellow forgot
A secretary is not
A toy!

COMPANY:
(Whistling)
A secretary is not a toy!
And when you put her to use,
Observe,
When you put her to use:

FRUMP:
That you don't find the name Lionel
on her caboose*! [last car of a train; derriere

FEMALE ENSEMBLE:
A secretary is not a thing
One buy key, hold by string* [abbreviated construction:
"one buys a key and then holds her by a string"
Her pad* [pun on "pad": paper/home
Is to write in,
And not spend the night in
If that's what you plan to enjoy.
No!

COMPANY:
The secretary you got,
Is definitely not
Employed to do a gavotte*, [dance
Or you know what*, [euphemism: sex
Before you jump for joy,
Remember this my boy,
A secretary is not,
A Tinker toy*! [construction toy, trademark name

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Composition: adapted from an online cartoon. CLICK TO ENLARGE.

Sample Profile (optional)

Sample Profile

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First note that this article, on a college tuition increase in Florida, fails to answer the question of how much tuition costs now and what it will cost after the increase. It wrongly assumes the reader knows these facts. I give this just as an example of how even published articles can have problems. Now follows the profile and analysis.

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Profile

This is a profile of a call girl, notorious for her services to a former New York governor, leading to his resignation. The profile is organized around Cause-Effect (why she became a call girl; but also the consequences her choice has had on her family and herself) and Definition (who she thinks she is compared to the image created by the scandal or by her profession).
Once the focus was chosen, the quotes were easy to choose, since they had to develop the main Cause-Effect and Definition topics. Coherence was also easy, beginning on Cause-Effect (how she became a call girl) and ending on how she wants people to see her.
It's not a perfect model, since the profile was not written by the same person who did the interview, but uses quotes from the interview instead. Other than that, it's a good model to use for a profile.
Below is a copy of the profile. The student can also hear part of the actual interview here, thus seeing how the quote is included in the profile below:

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The young woman at the center of the historic downfall of the governor of New York is finally speaking out. Ashley Dupré, the 23-year-old former escort who was the target of intense media scrutiny in the days after Gov. Eliot Spitzer's resignation from public office, has stepped forward to give her first television interview. Dupré told ABC News' Diane Sawyer that she does not feel responsible for Spitzer's downfall.
The writer begins with what is called a cataphora: that is, describing the person before she's identified. This is a useful way to engage interest, as in mystery stories: "She was walking along a dark narrow street when she saw him." Also used is an appositive (telling us who Ashley Dupré is by using a comma separation after her name, as in, "Barack Obama, the president-elect," where "the president-elect" lies in apposition to "Barack Obama," describing him).
Note the second sentence is long but well controlled. So the profile begins on Definition, followed by Cause-Effect ("she does not feel responsible"). The writer chooses an apt quotation:

"If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else," she said. "I was doing my job. I don't feel that I brought him down."
Note another use of apposition to explain "Emperor's Club V.I.P." Then another use of Cause-Effect (how the scandal affected Dupré's life), with another apt quote:
In March, the media discovered Dupré was "Kristen," her alias at the Emperor's Club V.I.P., the high-end escort service that had arranged her rendezvous at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington, D.C., with Spitzer. Soon after the story broke, Dupré sought refuge at her family's home in New Jersey.

"I felt like it was surreal, like it wasn't happening," she said. "But it was."
Yet another use of Cause-Effect: "how an upper middle class girl" "could become an escort":
Dupré's situation raised questions about how an upper middle class girl from New Jersey, whose stepfather is a prominent oral surgeon, could become an escort.
Still more Cause-Effect, emphasizing Dupré's difficult relationship with her father:
She told Sawyer that, as a child, she was a "happy kid" who "got along with everybody" and was particularly close to her older brother, Kyle Youmans. She changed her last name to Dupré because she didn't have a close relationship with her biological father.
Note how the quotes are linked together well, so that each quotes seems inevitable when it comes. Here again Cause-Effect "explains" why Dupré changed her name:
"I wanted a new name to go along with me," she said. "I've been searching for so long for that identity of who I am." In high school, Dupré was an honor student, worked in a restaurant and "never really socialized and went ... to any of the parties, the high school parties."

"I got along with everyone, I was kind of popular," she said. "I was pretty popular."
Note the use of antithesis ("But"): Dupré was happy but also struggled with drugs and relationships with men. Note the careful alternation of descriptive transitions and quoted speech:
But Dupré also told Sawyer about her struggles with drugs, running away from home at 17 and troubled relationships with men in her life.

"I was an angry 17-year-old," she said. "I was so confused and I didn't understand my emotions. Where I became self-destructive."
"Where I became self-destructive" (above) is not grammatical, but allowed in quoted speech; in fact, it becomes effective as quoted speech to evoke a real person trying to find words to express her emotions.
At 19, Dupré moved to New York City to pursue her dream of becoming a singer. She was working three jobs when someone gave her a business card for the escort service.
Once again, the writer carefully balances narrative (above) with quoted speech (below), at the same time linking each section like a mosaic:
"You don't mean to make those choices but you're put in a situation and, you know, you have an opportunity to do it," she said.
In a traditional profile, the writer would use a descriptive transition to link these two quotes (usually it's not good to have two independent quotes next to each other without a narrative or descriptive transition, such as: "Ms. Dupré nervously fondled the yellow beads that hung around her neck, then explained how she slipped into the escort business."
The quote allows the speaker to use comparison and contrast, as well as analogy, to defend herself:
"I really didn't see the difference between going on a date with someone in New York, taking you to dinner and expecting something in return," she said. "I really thought it was more of a trade-off. He's expecting something in return when you date, whereas, you know, being an escort, it was a formal transaction."
Once again, two separate quotes follow each other. This is not the best style but it's becoming more common in fast-paced media publications, where readers have little time for description. In the past, when there was nothing but print media, people enjoyed having a writer evoke an image of a person, the way she looked, dressed, talked, behaved, sipped coffee, etc. Today, a photo is worth a thousand words (see left). Artistically this is not true; since writing is as much style as substance (content); the way that art lovers are not interested in the landscape so much as in the way it's painted. But people are not as interested in artistic style today as in the past. So most writing today is functional: it gets to the point with economy and clarity of expression so people enjoy it but don't invest too much time, which they don't have to spare these days!
"The media thinks that I'm this crazy partyer and, you know, I like limelight and I want to be out and socializing," she said. "And I would love nothing more than to sit at home and watch a movie. And hang out with my dog, or cook with some close friends."
Note how the writer sums up a lot of dialogue by indirectly quoting it. Note also how Dupré justifies herself, as if she were the victim of others (a boyfriend, for example), or of circumstances outside her control (debts):
Dupré said she worked on and off for the escort service and, after being left by a boyfriend with a $3,600 apartment lease to pay off, medical bills and a heavy load of credit card debt, she returned to the agency. Four weeks later, she went to Washington, not knowing that she was meeting a governor.

Dupré says she initially didn't know the identity of the man referred to in court documents as Client No. 9.

"He looked familiar," she said. "But I was 22 years old, I didn't, I wasn't reading the papers, I was so involved in my life and I was so selfish and caught up in my life and I didn't know who he was. And I was whoever they wanted me to be, and he was whoever he wanted to be."

When asked how often she saw Spitzer, Dupré was reluctant to discuss the details.

"Legally, I am not able to answer that question," she said.
Note (above) that though the writer leaves out important information (how often Dupré saw her client, Spitzer) she gives a reason for doing so (legally, Dupré was unable to answer); so the reader is satisfied with the missing facts or details.
Dupré remembers the moment of shock when she watched Spitzer's televised resignation.

"I didn't know the depth to my situation," she said. "That's when I connected the dots, was when everyone else found out. I turned on the TV and I said, "Oh s--, what did I get myself involved in? I felt like everything slowed down around me. And it was just the TV and I and, I was shocked."

Dupré says she was not focused on the governor during the speech, but rather, wife Silda's face as she stood by his side.

"I felt connected to her," Dupré said. "I didn't feel connected to him. Her pain. And I just saw the pain in her eyes."
Much of the profile uses Cause-Effect as the main organization principle (the effect on Dupré's mother and stepfather):
Dupré is well aware of the pain she caused her own family. Her mother's sadness was intensified by pressure to turn against her daughter.

"So many people told her to kick me out," Dupré said. "You know, don't, why are you taking her in? And my mom's response is, 'She's a piece of me. How can you just throw it out?'"

Dupré's relationship with her stepfather has been particularly strained.

"He was so disgusted with me when everything happened," Dupré said, adding that he wouldn't look at her or hug her for quite some time. "Now it's, it's getting better. And we're working on our relationship."
Cause-Effect (Dupré's goal is to sing) is followed by Definition ("that's not who I am"):
Dupré says her only ambition now is to pursue the singing career of which she has always dreamed. She has received a number of lucrative offers, from reality shows to $1 million to pose for Hustler magazine, but she has turned them all down.
Now Contradiction is used; that is, Dupré tells who she is by who she is NOT. This is followed by Cause-Effect ("do what I love"), then Definition ("who I am"), finally ending in Cause-Effect again ("I'm not going to let this change who I am"; the state will not pursue charges; Dupré wants time to heal, etc.:
"You stop and think, but that's not who I am," she said. "And that's not what I want to do. I want to go after my music and do what I love. And not lose track of who I am on the way. I'm trying to pursue my music. I'm still living for it. I'm not gonna give up my dream. I'm not going to change. I'm not going to let this change who I am. And what I love."

Legal experts say it is unlikely that Dupré will be charged with a crime because federal prosecutors have announced they will not seek any criminal charges against the former governor.

"I needed to give myself time to heal," Dupré said. "And the people that were hurt by my choices time to heal, as well. And now it's time for me to tell my side of the story. And for people to get to know me. The real me, not, not the person that was created by the media."

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Composition Profile: Click on image to enlarge

Composition: Sample Profile (final example)

SUNDAY PROFILE:
By God and Taiwan

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Joyce Chiou's massive new opera, 'The Black Bearded Bible Man,' depicts the life of George MacKay, a 19th-century Canadian missionary to Taiwan

By Bradley Winterton
CONTRIBUTING REPORTER
Sunday, Nov 09, 2008, Page 14
To view the original Taipei Times article, go here.
A note on typography first. Titles of novels, operas, films are commonly set in italics. However in newspapers and other daily media publications quotes are used instead, as around The Black Bearded Bible Man.

Note, titles are usually italicized; however, when the entire text is in italics (as here), titles are then offset by Roman (regular, non-italic) type instead (as when I typed The Black Bearded Bible Man above).


Also note that "black-bearded" would formerly have received a hyphen to separate the two adjectives "black" and "bearded," but this style seems to have changed recently. (We used to write, for example, "African-American," but now write "African American" instead.)

The writer begins with a direct quote. He thought the quote significant enough because it had drama: the composer almost rejected the project now being staged in Taipei. Note how he includes important information in parentheses (Joyce Chiou's Chinese name, the full name of the orchestra). "Stylish" is a general and vague word, but it fits; it's all we need, because the focus is one a person, not her place. If the place were not stylish but "shabby," that would have been enough too. But actually this is arbitrary; another writer might have done something with the word "stylish" or "shabby," if they chose, and broken that word down into more specifics. But it would have been a different kind of essay, focusing on how "stylish" or "shabby" the person herself was.

Note how simply the writer situates the interview "in Taipei" by simply using "Taipei" as an adjective for "premises" (working quarters). A student would have used a lot of words and lost coherence too: "The composer works in Taipei." Note coherence: the writer mentions that Chiou is also the orchestra's "Executive Director," following mention of her "stylish office" at NSO's "Taipei's premises." Finally notice how the writer breaks up direct dialogue with description.

This is a primary goal of the profile writer: to be sure the profile doesn't read like a transcript of an interview, but reads like a profile. This means the writer must balance direct quotes with narrative and description. Sometimes this is done simply by breaking up the direct quotes with attribution, as below ("said Joyce Chiou in her stylish. . . ."). The second paragraph develops an antithesis (she resisted writing about George MacKay BUT. . . .).
"When the composer first asked me to write the libretto for an opera he had in mind about George MacKay, I declined. I think he thought of me because I'd combined music and theater as double majors for my degree in the US, as well as because of my experience with opera here in Taipei. But I sensed he also wanted a Christian to do the job, and I knew I didn't fit that requirement," said Joyce Chiou in her stylish office at the National Symphony Orchestra's (NSO, 黑鬚馬偕) Taipei premises. Together with her other work she's the orchestra's Executive Director.
"Later, though, I had second thoughts, largely as a result of discovering MacKay's support of the education for women here in Taiwan. I'd assumed beforehand that everything he did was really a part of his wider program as a missionary — basically that he wanted people to be educated in order to make them Christians. But once I got to know more about him I saw he was a more complex figure, and I so changed my mind."
Now the writer breaks up direct quotes with narration: Chiou puts on a CD. Then he uses apposition to "define" The Black Bearded Bible Man as "the massive opera. . . ." etc. A relative clause mentions the world premiere of the opera in Taipei. Notice how well the writer controls his long sentence, including a long appositive and a relative clause. Then he continues with another direct quote:
Chiou puts on a CD of some early work on The Black Bearded Bible Man, the massive opera about the 19th-century Canadian missionary to Taiwan, George MacKay, that will be given its world premiere in Taipei with the NSO on Nov. 27.
Notice the writer's coherence, moving from narration of putting the CD on to dialogue describing the singing. The dialogue is rather banal, and the adverb "excitedly" is not interesting, but somehow it works to capture who Chiou is and how she talks. Nothing in writing is good or bad, so long as the reader feels there's a PURPOSE behind the choices made in the writing. Macbeth's "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow" would be poor writing if writing a memo to one's boss "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow you appointment schedule is all full") but is superb writing when having a murderer (Macbeth) speak about how empty his life has become! As for the quote, the writer SELECTS a quote that names the singer (Thomas Meglioranza) who will perform; so that's important information:
"That's an American, singing in Taiwanese!" she said excitedly. "Isn't that amazing? It's Thomas Meglioranza from New York. OK, his wife's Taiwanese, but he'd never attempted to learn the language until he got this part.
The writer chooses to use a long quote without breaking it up. How much of a proportion of direct quotes to descriptive writing is relative. In a "strong" writer, direct quotes will be fewer than descriptive or narrative writing; the emphasis will be on the writer rather than the profile subject, or the interest will be equally shared. But in a less strong writer, the focus will be on the profile subject (person) and the writer will try to disappear behind the subject, as here. The coherence in the final part of this paragraph is superficial: the speaker moves from her own knowledge of Taiwanese to MacKay's writing of a Taiwanese-English dictionary; but the writer leaves it in, apparently thinking this bit of information about MacKay is important for the reader and writing about the opera:
"The opera's almost all sung in Taiwanese, with only 10 percent in English, such as when MacKay first arrives on the island and doesn't yet know the language. Actually, this was also part of the problem for me in accepting the commission. I'd spoken Taiwanese as a child here in Taiwan, but I wasn't too confident about writing in it, especially with rhymes. Did you know MacKay himself wrote a Taiwanese-English dictionary, using the Roman alphabet for Taiwanese?"
Here the writer forces the speaker to focus on the opera instead of MacKay by interjecting a comment about the opera's music, using the CD as a coherence device. Note how the writer sets up an antithesis, taken up by Chiou. The writer then economically includes the name of the composer, controlling his long sentence very well ("referring to the opera's composer. . . ."), again using parentheses to include the composer's Chinese name as well:
I said that judging from the CD, the music was going to be lyrical rather than abstruse.
"I think Gordon wanted it to be more contemporary, but then when he saw my words he realized it was going to have to be more accessible," Chiou replied, referring to the opera's composer Gordon Shi-wen Chin (金希文).
Here the writer uses background information to insure coherence from one idea to another: Chiou's background includes popular books, so that explains why her opera libretto is also popular:
As well as producing and helping direct operas, Chiou has written a guide to Broadway musicals, and another called Behind the Mask: Phantom of the Opera, so I guessed in advance that her approach would probably be fairly lyrical and popular.
Notice by the way that the profile writer never directly quotes himself, because he or she is not the focus of the profile! Never quote yourself as writer; only indirectly quote yourself. Note also that coherence is not that difficult to insure, because one need mainly use indirect quotes to change the subject ("I asked whether. . . ."), though care must be taken that the change in focus not that too abrupt. Note how "conflicts" leads coherently to the direct quote by Chiou:
I asked whether, if MacKay wasn't going to be presented only as a missionary, he was going to be shown as a man with conflicts.
"Oh yes," she says. "I actually had a church service in the first draft, but it didn't seem very dramatic so I cut it. Instead, I concentrated on the theatrical values of conflict and tension. The opera opens with his death, and all the rest is flashback, until you come to his death again at the end, and then in essence we repeat the first scene."
I don't like the following paragraph; it's telling, not showing. The writer here is too intrusive and he loses focus on the profile subject (Chiou), bringing focus to himself (and his views) instead. The reader's focus should be exclusively on Chiou:
This is a powerful technique, showing something that the audience doesn't understand the first time round but which, by the time it repeats itself, is understood by everyone; this bodes well for the opera.
Coherence could be improved in the next paragraph, which seems forced following the paragraph before ("Among the other important characters. . . ."), especially since there's no mention of the word "character" before (the focus was on MacKay the man, not the "character"). But the writer again makes good use of parentheses and modifiers ("Korean tenor") to give the reader important information. He also economically tells the reader important information (how long the opera is, who conducts the orchestra, etc.). These are questions the reader wants answered, especially if the reader plans to see the show:
Among the other important characters are MacKay's Taiwanese wife (sung by Chen Mei-chin, 陳美津) and two of his male followers, sung by the Korean tenor Choi Seung-jin and Taiwan's Liau Chong-boon (廖聰文). The opera, over three hours long and with two intervals, will be directed by Germany's Lukas Hemleb and conducted by Chien Wen-pin (簡文彬).
Coherence to the next paragraph could have been stronger; instead the writer jumps from the show to whether there are photos of MacKay. Then there's no coherence in Chiou's quoted dialogue. The fact that she speaks like this does not justify the lack of editorial selection on the part of the writer. The writer should have imposed coherence on the direct quote, posssibly by editing the quote accordingly. Note how the second sentence ("MacKay had always wanted. . . .") has no relationship with the first. Then in the paragraph after this there's no coherence either: "There's a lot of choral writing in the score." The writer is not shaping the material but allowing the material to take over; so this begins to read like it has less focus than it should. The second paragraph below, in fact, has no coherence at all, and seems to jump from one idea to the next without control. Chiou refers to "choral writing in the score." Then how Taiwanese acted "in groups." Then The fact that Gordon Chin has "written a lot of choral music. . . . " Finally, where she found inspiration (from Greek tragedy and Les Miserables). Of course the speaker can't be faulted; but the writer should have exercised more control over the material:
"There's no extant film of MacKay, but I believe the production will use a lot of film nonetheless, made up from the many black-and-white still photos of him that do survive. MacKay had always wanted to come to the Far East, but he wandered around a lot — Fujian Province, Guandong, southern Taiwan — before settling in Tamshui. He said it was the sight of Guanyin Mountain (觀音山) that convinced him it was the right place," Chiou said.
"There's a lot of choral writing in the score. I had the sense that, with some important exceptions, the Taiwanese tended to act in groups rather than as individuals in those days, and as Gordon Chin has also written a lot of choral music in the past, there's a lot in this opera. I took my inspiration for how to use people singing in groups from ancient Greek tragedy and from Les Miserables."
The following paragraph seems completely out of place. This seems to be realized by the writer himself, who quickly returns to his main focus in the paragraph after: "But The Black Bearded Bible Man. . . ." Background information is valuable and interesting; but it should have been included at the beginning, not here. The quote about Chiou's research, in the third paragraph below, also seems out of place, as does the reference to MacKay's death at 58:
Chiou started to work in her present position with the NSO in June, 2006. She had worked for the National Chiang Kai-shek Cultural Center in various roles before that, and had gained extensive experience in university administration during a long stay in Vancouver from 1997 to 2004.
But The Black Bearded Bible Man seemed a more interesting topic than administration, so we returned to that.
"I did a lot of my research about MacKay at Oxford College in Tamshui," Chiou said. "They have a small library devoted to him. He died in Tamshui in 1901, aged 58."
Note how the writer fills in details, by narration and indirect quotes, that otherwise would take too long in direct quotes, at one point indirectly quoting Chiou, but, for the most part, just filling in the details himself. Then in the paragraph after this he nicely (coherently) links a direct quote from Chiou herself:
He'd been there 29 years, apart from a brief period in Hong Kong. His last six years in Taiwan were during the Japanese occupation, but Chiou said she hadn't included this as the opera was long enough as it was. But anti-foreigner sentiment during the Sino-French war of 1884 to 1885 formed a potent element in the plot, she added.
"Essentially I present MacKay as a man who wanted to improve the lot of the Taiwanese people in any way he could. The villagers were afraid of him at first so he began learning Taiwanese from the children. He practiced dentistry and founded hospitals. All in all, the more I read about him the more I came to admire him," Chiou said.
The writer doesn't seem to know how to end his profile, so he ends it rather weakly, referring to possible attendance at the performances of Chiou's opera. He could have had a stronger ending. Surprisingly, the writer ends on a negative note and tone ("How many affluent modern Taiwanese will be interested").
As I left, I found myself wondering how many affluent modern Taiwanese will be interested in seeing a stage show about their under-privileged past. But it was too late to ask Chiou her opinion on the matter. She'd obviously be optimistic anyway, I decided. The attendances at the four performances at the end of the month will settle the question one way or the other.

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Profile model

New York's oldest bartender turns 90

THE GUARDIAN, NEW YORK
Thursday, Aug 24, 2006, Page 6
from the Taipei Times
 
New York's oldest bartender learned early in his career not to be over-awed in the presence of celebrity.
Fast beginning, using what is called "cataphora"; that is, referring to someone or something before it has been identified. "New York's oldest bartender" has not been identified yet, so it adds suspense to the profile, like beginning a crime story: "He was walking behind me. I could hear his footsteps, pat, pat, pat, on the cement pavement. . . ." Note the catchy opening sentence, concluding on the word "celebrity." Also the adverb, "early," clues us that this person has lived long. Then the writer uses only a snatch (bit) of a quote, filling it out with indirect quotation:
    Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis were "just regular people," and never gave him any trouble; Judy Garland was "sad," and sat in the corner drinking whisky, but was otherwise pleasant. John Lennon liked a scotch. And Marilyn Monroe?
A dramatic rhetorical question introduces the first complete quote and the identification of the profile subject, Hoy Wang. Notice how the writer economically combines desription ("leaning forward at a table") and identification of setting ("at the Algonquin Hotel"). "I'll tell you this" nicely sums up this person's manner of speaking, by selecting a colorful phrase.
    "I'll tell you this about Marilyn," Hoy Wong said on Tuesday, leaning forward at a table in the bar of the Algonquin Hotel. "She always wore really low-cut dresses."
    Now more description follows, including important background:
    Mr Hoy, as he is universally known, turned 90 yesterday, and last night his colleagues in midtown Manhattan, were preparing to throw a party for him, along with 350 friends and customers.
    After 58 years behind the bar, pouring some 750,000 drinks, the Hong Kong-born Hoy was enjoying the attention. Antithesis ("but") allows for a good transition between one idea and the next: But he had no plans to get drunk: He has not had a drink since a heart attack in 1982.
    Note the order: from present, back to past (1940), then forward again to present. This is fairly typical of profile writing. Note how the writer surely summarized a lot of profile interview answers in a short narrative paragraph. Otherwise the profile would be too long. But this takes work. The writer finds how certain material connects together and then arranges that material, finally finding the best way to present it, either amplifying or condensing ideas in it. Here the writer has chosen to condense ideas and facts:
    After coming to the US in 1940, Hoy served in the army for three years, seeing out the end of World War II in India and China, and learning, from his experiences as a mess sergeant, that he would not relish a career as a cook.
Once again, a good transition device, linking cooking to the next subject, bartending. Then we get a selective use of dialogue. Note how the writer selects colorful idiomatic expressions for his direct quotes: "easy living"; "good money."
    "Being a bartender, it's easy living, and you get to talk to people every day, pay attention to the customer," he said. "And it's good money."
Now we go to the past again. Every writer must choose the best order for the material. In a massive (big) biography, probably a strict chronology would be better. But in a short work, like this profile, an alternation of present and past events allows for a more colorful order to the material and easier transitions to dialogue. I the dialogue quoted at the end of this next paragraph, once again only two words are chosen, while the rest is in indirect discourse. The point is: there must be a PURPOSE to every scrap (bit) of dialogue. In fact, there must be a purpose to every single word, though sometimes only the writer knows it for sure.
    Hoy met most of his star customers while at Freeman Chum, a Chinese restaurant that has long since closed. At another bar job, in 1961, he took an order from the Duke of Windsor, for a House of Lords gin martini "on toast."
    Next paragraph shows an interesting detail in the person's life. Once again, the principle of selection is important. The writer doesn't just write anything; it must be colorful, significant, odd, unusual, funny, bizarre, offensive, vulgar, silly, whatever. At the same time, this little tidbit of information shows that this bartender already was more experienced than his peers:
    The request baffled other staff, one of whom was ready to get the kitchen to prepare some toast. But Hoy knew he wanted a Martini with a lemon-peel spritz, set on fire. The former king ended up ordering two.
Now we get a little background on the famous hotel, the Algonquin, which doesn't really add to the profile; yet readers who know the Algonquin's history might ask if this person knew the hotel at its peak glory years. In other words, good writers ANSWER questions the average reader might ASK. One might almost define good writing as a good dialogue between a real writer (YOU) and an imaginary reader.
    Hoy moved to the Algonquin in 1979. The wisecracking members of the 1920s Algonquin round table -- Dorothy Parker, Robert Benchley and others -- had long since moved on. But they had been replaced by other high-profile customers such as Anthony Quinn and Henry Kissinger.
Then we get concluding dialgoue for this very simple profile. It's not much, but it shows what can be done with little material to go on, if its well organized. The writer returns to the beginning, with the subject of age and retirement. This oldest bartender in New York is "not going to retire." We get a cause-effect reason and then funny final dialogue about paying his taxes, which concludes on the same motif with which it began: bartending. Again, the one thing missing here is some description of the person, so one doesn't really see this person as well as one should. Otherwise, it's a good model for a profile, especially since it's short enough to be studied in a few minutes, even with my commentary.
    "I'm not going to retire," Hoy said. "As long as I'm healthy like this, I'll keep going. You know why? I figured it out. President Bush -- he needs the money. So I've got to keep working to pay the tax."

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Sample Profile (NOT REQUIRED READING)

Poet Seidel relates his inspired life
By HILLEL ITALIE, AP NEW YORK

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It is late morning, dark and cozy in the Carlyle's Gallery lounge. The Twin Towers have fallen. George W. Bush is president. Robert Kennedy is dead. Ezra Pound is a modernist. Seidel rides a motorcycle.
    The poet is 71. He loves Fred Astaire.
    "I want it all to matter," he says, "whether it gets down on the page or not."
Using an expletive ("It is"), the writer establishes the setting ("late morning," "Carlyle's Gallery"), then the time by touchstones (references to the Twin Towers, poet, Ezra Pound, etc.), which seem arbitrary; but that's the point, as the first quote shows: "I want it all to matter." Already the writer has a point-of-view about his subject as an odd person. Then he establishes a background of the writer for those unfamilair with him (the second sentence goes to lower levels of generality, from poems to kinds of poems):
    For more than 50 years, Seidel has been writing poems — topical poems and timeless poems. Poems about sex, the cosmos, motorcycles and growing old. Difficult, troubling poems that may or may not have rhyme or meter, or may or may not have an obvious meaning, but still leave brave readers feeling the presence of a strange and brilliant mind.
Good descriptive prose about the subject's appearance:
    Wearing a jacket and slacks, no tie, Seidel is a casual, cultured man with a high forehead and a spark of scandal in his eyes. He almost never talks to the press, but agreed to an Associated Press interview in support of "Ooga-Booga," his most recent collection. The Carlyle, across town from his Upper West Side apartment, is a favorite locale, honored in his poem, "Frederick Seidel," in which he declares: "I am a result of the concierge of the Carlyle."
The dialogue takes us to a lower level of generality from the previous mention of the Carlyle Hotel:
    "I like being alone, and I like hotels," he says, noting that hotels often are in his poems. "I like the sense of being safely enclosed, anonymous, but not — able to feel cosseted and comforted and protected by what's around, but left alone by it. That's what I think is terrific about hotels. You're alone, but you're not."
"Writes" refers back to a previous paragraph about the poet's writing, also taking us to lower levels of generality, but this time using indirect dialogue for variety and economy (saving words). "Even" takes us to lower levels of generality, further describing the poet's indifference:
    He writes day and night, he says, and appears not to worry about who reads him. A recent nominee for the National Book Critics Circle Award, he didn't attend the ceremony and didn't bother writing a statement in case he won (he didn't). Even his new book's cover, a mocking, menacing head shot of Seidel taken in a photo booth, has an "open, if you dare," quality.
The writer now uses contrast as antithesis to the poet's indifference (what would he do if Oprah Winfrey came calling). This is followed by an analogy ("like being paid," etc.). The paragrah concludes on "definition," a commonplace putting the poet as a "type of artist" Winfrey might admire:
    Asked what his reaction would be if Oprah Winfrey came calling, Seidel dismisses the idea, then briefly welcomes it, if only for the weirdness, like being paid to write a poem while bungee jumping. But in a way Seidel might appreciate, he's the type of artist Winfrey would probably admire, for his poems are a triumph of cosmic awe in the face of earthly terror.
After describing the poet's work in the last paragraph, the writer gets to lower levels of generality in the next:
    The news is often bad in his work, whether the crash of the World Trade Center or the failings of his own body ("The melanoma on my skin/Resumes what's wrong with me within"). The same man who spells suicidal "sui-Seidel"), remains wondrous, fascinated, grateful to be alive, much in love with "the sky above."
The quote takes us to lower levels of generality from the last paragraph:
    "I'm quite taken up with what's going on now, when it's going on. I like the times I'm living in. In fact, it's been a privilege, a fascination, to be living through these decades," he says.
Now we get the usual biographical background to vary the present with the past and give the reader some perspective on the profile subject:
    A native of St. Louis, Seidel has been a dedicated writer since age 13, when poetry cast its spell. The author was seated in a school library, reading Time magazine instead of doing his homework, when he spotted an article about Ezra Pound and read an excerpt from one of his cantos, "What thou lovest well remains/the rest is dross."
In profiles, quotes usually go to lower levels of generality from the previous, more general, descriptive prose, as here:
    "It was just a wand, a Disney wand with sparkles, touching me, sparkles almost piercing — the almost unbearable beauty of those lines, which are as beautiful now, some years later, as they were then," he says.
Definition advances the profile by putting Seidel in the class of other modernist poets like Eliot and Pound. Definition is also used to list the "lot of people" the poet met, which takes us to a lower level of generality:
    A young modernist was born, who would well carry on the tradition of classical learning and contemporary dread. Seidel not only read Pound and T.S. Eliot, but got to know them. He's met a lot of people: from fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg to John F. Kennedy, who visited the Harvard University campus while Seidel was a student and Kennedy a senator.
More Definition is used ("a wealthy man's son") and a comic analogy ("as [=like] an agent of fate"):
    Fitting for a wealthy man's son — his father ran a coal-and-coke business — Seidel did not really ask to see his heroes, but insisted on it, presented himself as an agent of fate. He remembers first contacting Pound in the 1950s, when Seidel was an undergraduate and Pound was institutionalized at St. Elizabeth's Hospital in Washington, D.C.
    Months later, an airmail special delivery postcard arrived from St. Elizabeth's, with "an illegible scrawl on it." Upon close inspection, Seidel realized he had received an invitation.
Lower levels of generality, typical of quoted speech in profiles:
    "I took a Greyhound bus from Cambridge, Mass., to Washington and saw Pound. I planned to stay a couple of days and stayed more and more," he recalls.
    With Pound's help, Seidel met Eliot, when the poet was living in London and working as a publisher at Faber & Faber. Seidel never doubted they would get along. Both were poets, from St. Louis, friends of Ezra Pound. A meeting was arranged at Eliot's office, where Seidel encountered his secretary, Valerie Fletcher, who would soon become Eliot's wife.
Again the quoted speech moves to lower levels of generality from the previous narrated paragrah:
    "When I arrived, 17-18 years old, she said to me, in a very shocked way, and an unfriendly way, `You shouldn't be here at all. He shouldn't be seeing you at all. He's quite sick, so for heaven's sake, don't stay long.'"
Good use of short paragraphs. The writer also uses "epistrophe" (repeating the last word in a sentence: "long") in order to insure coherence. "Hours" takes "long" to a lower level of generality, also advancing coherence:
    He stayed long.
    "Hours," he says. "We had a wonderful time."
Some more background information. Profiles usually are ordered from present to past and forward again to add variety to the writing. Note that the book title, Final Solutions, is set off by quotes ("Final Solutions") instead of italics. This is common in popular print forms like newspapers, etc. But the accepted form in book style is italics. Now the writer uses Cause-Effect to develop the narration. A parenthesis is also nicely used to describe how Seidel enjoys "Scandal!"
    Seidel caused a bit of controversy — "Scandal!" he calls it, eyes alive with pleasure — even before his first book, "Final Solutions," came out. In 1962, he was to receive a poetry award from the 92nd Street Y in New York City, but was told to remove some references to former first lady Mamie Eisenhower, for fear of libel.
"Request" links this paragraph to the last by a lower level of generality:
    The request was denied, the award revoked. Atheneum Books had promised to publish his book, changed its mind and "Final Solutions" was eventually released by Random House. Seidel waited 17 years before putting out another.
Again, quoted speech moves to a lower level of generality from the last narration:
    "I wrote a bit after that, but then I stopped, because I felt I did not know how to say something new, and that it would be important to wait until I did," he says.
The next paragraph might have begun with more obvious coherence in the form, "He resists interviews to conserve his creative life," etc. Instead the writer chose reversed word order to add interest ("One reason"):
    One reason he resists interviews is not just protection of his private life, but the conservation of his creative life, as if every word released were so much energy burned. Poetry, he explains, is a state of mind apart from the poet, yet also above the poet, below the poet, and deeply within.
On a lower level of generality, this quote explains the previous narration at a lower level of generality:
    "You're doing so many things on so many tracks at the same time — dozens and dozens of things, mentally — that were you successfully to separate out the different strands, you would make the task impossible," says Seidel, now the author of 11 books, including "Sunrise," winner of National Book Critics Circle Prize in 1981, and "Going Fast," a finalist in 1999 for the Pulitzer.
Some more epistrophe ("own world," "the world"). Then speech goes to a lower level of generality ("A boulevard of elegance").
    He is in his own world, but very much of the world. "A boulevard of elegance," as he has written of himself, he is mad about movies and music and a connoisseur of politics, as pastime and metaphysics. He is one poet for whom presidents matter, not only as lawmakers, but as cultural forces, whose personal essence becomes public matter.
Again speech goes to a lower level of generality from previous narration. The final paragraphs go to progressively lower levels of generality, insuring coherence. The profile ends on a quote, using Definition (of Robert Kennedy) as a Definition of the poet himself (that is, they belong in the same class):
    "I'm very much aware of politics, because I very much enjoy politics," he says. "There have been a few blank periods when I was deprived of my pleasure. . . . But, for the most part, it's very much a part of what I see as coloring the world, permeating the world."
    He has written an ode to the Kennedy administration ("We could love politics for its mind!/All seemed possible") and an anti-ode to the Bush administration ("The United States of America preemptively eats the world"). Other presidents have bored him (Ronald Reagan) or fascinated him, but not to the point of poetry (Richard Nixon).
    One man truly moved him. Seidel has likened Robert Kennedy, assassinated in 1968 as he ran for president, to a character out of Yeats and has written that Kennedy was the only politician he ever loved. When discussing Kennedy during his interview, Seidel sounds as if he could be describing himself.
    "He had a fierce sincerity, he meant it. He was almost scary, and was quite willing to say the wrong thing," Seidel says. "He tried to fight his way forward to where he got, and where he got, I thought, was admirable, inspired and inspiring."

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Sample Profile (prisoner)

CALIFORNIA'S OLDEST INMATE

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By J. Michael Kennedy, Times Staff Writer
April 10, 2007

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The following profile has been edited down from a longer essay that partly focuses on the California parole system. By editing it, I turned it, I put the focus on the man rather than the social issues of the prison system. So students who refer to the original essay can see how editing can "revise" an essay, that is, see it from a different point of view:
At 94, John Rodriguez has the dubious distinction of being the oldest inmate in the California prison system.
Focus is quickly established through the means of Definition: placing John Rodriguez in the class of 1) old men, 2) prisoners. Then the writer moves to a lower level of generality, followed by an antithesis based on cause-effect (because he's a murderer he's not sympathetic):
    He looks the part, with his snow-white hair and unsteady gait. But given the crime that put him in prison, he's hardly a sympathetic character.
A yet lower level of generality, giving details of the murder, using cause-effect to do so, with some indirect quotation ("he claimed").
    Rodriguez murdered his wife during a drunken rage on a December day in 1981. He claimed she'd been cheating on him. For that, he stabbed her 26 times with a paring knife. His punishment was a sentence of 16 years to life, and he's spent most of it at the California Men's Colony in San Luis Obispo.
The next means ("commonplace") is Division, dividing up Rodriquez's current life: he uses a walker, is hard of hearing, has arthritis, is forgetful, has taken hard falls, and lives in the prison hospital. Lower levels of generality are shown by underline.
    Rodriguez uses a walker and is hard of hearing. He has arthritis and is often forgetful. He's taken some hard falls over the years, breaking his arms and severely bruising himself. He's lived in the prison hospital for two years, sleeping in a dormitory setting rather than a cell.
Personal description follows:
    He's become a fixture around the low-security hospital, where his normal daytime attire is pajama bottoms and a blue prison shirt. Part of his routine is a Sunday visit to the Indian sweat lodge on the prison grounds.
Cause effect ("remorse," "jealousy"):
    Rodriguez says he has remorse over the murder, that he was insane with jealousy because his much younger wife had taken up with a man closer to her age.
Dialogue goes to lower levels of generality from the previous paragraph, typical of quoted speech in profiles:
    "I just want to get out and be left alone," he said. "I'm sorry for what happened and I shouldn't have done it."
The key word, "murder," continues coherence, by linking past paragraphs to the next:
    No one, including Rodriguez, tries to downplay the murder that sent him to prison.
Lower level of generality: from Rodriguez to his murder. The next paragraphs are called "narration" (of time) rather than "description" (of place, people, or things). Note strong verbs: "recounted" (not "told"); "consumed" (not "drank").
    As Rodriguez recounted to police, he began drinking early that morning in 1981 and, by about 5 p.m., had consumed an estimated 18 beers.
    He then went to Trejo's home and struck her when she opened the door. He began stabbing her with a paring knife, chasing her from room to room as she tried to escape. After he killed her, Rodriguez walked to his own home, where he was waiting when police arrived to arrest him. He was 68 at the time.
Common in profiles, narration is not chronological, but shifts back and forth from present to past. Note however that sometimes chronology must be strict, as in the narration of the murder, which was narrated step by step ("He then went to Trejo's home" and "After he killed her," etc.).
    John Rodriguez was born in Mexico and spent most of his life in Louisiana, Texas and California. His criminal history includes several drunk driving offenses and a conviction for dealing heroin.
    During his working life, Rodriguez was a cook, an interpreter and a delivery driver. He now spends much of his day lying in a prison hospital bed, though he takes pride in the fact that he still has some vigor left.
The previous paragraph links past and present by antithesis ("He now spends," etc.). The profile ends with quoted speech. Journalistic writing commonly uses "weak" endings rather than strong endings as in classical writing. This is typical of a "slice-of-life" look at people, probably influenced by the news media as well as the cinema of realism. In other words, there are no "neat" endings. One feels this profile might have ended in any number of ways. The writer chose an up-close look at the thinking of an aged murderer who still takes pride in something even if he's in prison.
    "I don't look like I'm old," he said. "There's a 70-year-old man here who looks older than me."

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