Saturday, November 22, 2008

Sample Profile (optional)

Sample Profile

First note that this article, on a college tuition increase in Florida, fails to answer the question of how much tuition costs now and what it will cost after the increase. It wrongly assumes the reader knows these facts. I give this just as an example of how even published articles can have problems. Now follows the profile and analysis.

Profile
This is a profile of a call girl, notorious for her services to a former New York governor, leading to his resignation. The profile is organized around Cause-Effect (why she became a call girl; but also the consequences her choice has had on her family and herself) and Definition (who she thinks she is compared to the image created by the scandal or by her profession).
Once the focus was chosen, the quotes were easy to choose, since they had to develop the main Cause-Effect and Definition topics. Coherence was also easy, beginning on Cause-Effect (how she became a call girl) and ending on how she wants people to see her.
It's not a perfect model, since the profile was not written by the same person who did the interview, but uses quotes from the interview instead. Other than that, it's a good model to use for a profile.
Below is a copy of the profile. The student can also hear part of the actual interview here, thus seeing how the quote is included in the profile below:


The young woman at the center of the historic downfall of the governor of New York is finally speaking out. Ashley Dupré, the 23-year-old former escort who was the target of intense media scrutiny in the days after Gov. Eliot Spitzer's resignation from public office, has stepped forward to give her first television interview. Dupré told ABC News' Diane Sawyer that she does not feel responsible for Spitzer's downfall.
The writer begins with what is called a cataphora: that is, describing the person before she's identified. This is a useful way to engage interest, as in mystery stories: "She was walking along a dark narrow street when she saw him." Also used is an appositive (telling us who Ashley Dupré is by using a comma separation after her name, as in, "Barack Obama, the president-elect," where "the president-elect" lies in apposition to "Barack Obama," describing him).
Note the second sentence is long but well controlled. So the profile begins on Definition, followed by Cause-Effect ("she does not feel responsible"). The writer chooses an apt quotation:


"If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else," she said. "I was doing my job. I don't feel that I brought him down."
Note another use of apposition to explain "Emperor's Club V.I.P." Then another use of Cause-Effect (how the scandal affected Dupré's life), with another apt quote:
In March, the media discovered Dupré was "Kristen," her alias at the Emperor's Club V.I.P., the high-end escort service that had arranged her rendezvous at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington, D.C., with Spitzer. Soon after the story broke, Dupré sought refuge at her family's home in New Jersey.

"I felt like it was surreal, like it wasn't happening," she said. "But it was."
Yet another use of Cause-Effect: "how an upper middle class girl" "could become an escort":
Dupré's situation raised questions about how an upper middle class girl from New Jersey, whose stepfather is a prominent oral surgeon, could become an escort.
Still more Cause-Effect, emphasizing Dupré's difficult relationship with her father:
She told Sawyer that, as a child, she was a "happy kid" who "got along with everybody" and was particularly close to her older brother, Kyle Youmans. She changed her last name to Dupré because she didn't have a close relationship with her biological father.
Note how the quotes are linked together well, so that each quotes seems inevitable when it comes. Here again Cause-Effect "explains" why Dupré changed her name:
"I wanted a new name to go along with me," she said. "I've been searching for so long for that identity of who I am." In high school, Dupré was an honor student, worked in a restaurant and "never really socialized and went ... to any of the parties, the high school parties."

"I got along with everyone, I was kind of popular," she said. "I was pretty popular."
Note the use of antithesis ("But"): Dupré was happy but also struggled with drugs and relationships with men. Note the careful alternation of descriptive transitions and quoted speech:
But Dupré also told Sawyer about her struggles with drugs, running away from home at 17 and troubled relationships with men in her life.

"I was an angry 17-year-old," she said. "I was so confused and I didn't understand my emotions. Where I became self-destructive."

"Where I became self-destructive" (above) is not grammatical, but allowed in quoted speech; in fact, it becomes effective as quoted speech to evoke a real person trying to find words to express her emotions.
At 19, Dupré moved to New York City to pursue her dream of becoming a singer. She was working three jobs when someone gave her a business card for the escort service.
Once again, the writer carefully balances narrative (above) with quoted speech (below), at the same time linking each section like a mosaic:
"You don't mean to make those choices but you're put in a situation and, you know, you have an opportunity to do it," she said.
In a traditional profile, the writer would use a descriptive transition to link these two quotes (usually it's not good to have two independent quotes next to each other without a narrative or descriptive transition, such as: "Ms. Dupré nervously fondled the yellow beads that hung around her neck, then explained how she slipped into the escort business."
The quote allows the speaker to use comparison and contrast, as well as analogy, to defend herself:
"I really didn't see the difference between going on a date with someone in New York, taking you to dinner and expecting something in return," she said. "I really thought it was more of a trade-off. He's expecting something in return when you date, whereas, you know, being an escort, it was a formal transaction."
Once again, two separate quotes follow each other. This is not the best style but it's becoming more common in fast-paced media publications, where readers have little time for description. In the past, when there was nothing but print media, people enjoyed having a writer evoke an image of a person,
the way she looked, dressed, talked, behaved, sipped coffee, etc. Today, a photo is worth a thousand words (see left). Artistically this is not true; since writing is as much style as substance (content); the way that art lovers are not interested in the landscape so much as in the way it's painted. But people are not as interested in artistic style today as in the past. So most writing today is functional: it gets to the point with economy and clarity of expression so people enjoy it but don't invest too much time, which they don't have to spare these days!
"The media thinks that I'm this crazy partyer and, you know, I like limelight and I want to be out and socializing," she said. "And I would love nothing more than to sit at home and watch a movie. And hang out with my dog, or cook with some close friends."
Note how the writer sums up a lot of dialogue by indirectly quoting it. Note also how Dupré justifies herself, as if she were the victim of others (a boyfriend, for example), or of circumstances outside her control (debts):
Dupré said she worked on and off for the escort service and, after being left by a boyfriend with a $3,600 apartment lease to pay off, medical bills and a heavy load of credit card debt, she returned to the agency. Four weeks later, she went to Washington, not knowing that she was meeting a governor.

Dupré says she initially didn't know the identity of the man referred to in court documents as Client No. 9.

"He looked familiar," she said. "But I was 22 years old, I didn't, I wasn't reading the papers, I was so involved in my life and I was so selfish and caught up in my life and I didn't know who he was. And I was whoever they wanted me to be, and he was whoever he wanted to be."

When asked how often she saw Spitzer, Dupré was reluctant to discuss the details.

"Legally, I am not able to answer that question," she said.
Note (above) that though the writer leaves out important information (how often Dupré saw her client, Spitzer) she gives a reason for doing so (legally, Dupré was unable to answer); so the reader is satisfied with the missing facts or details.
Dupré remembers the moment of shock when she watched Spitzer's televised resignation.

"I didn't know the depth to my situation," she said. "That's when I connected the dots, was when everyone else found out. I turned on the TV and I said, "Oh s--, what did I get myself involved in? I felt like everything slowed down around me. And it was just the TV and I and, I was shocked."

Dupré says she was not focused on the governor during the speech, but rather, wife Silda's face as she stood by his side.

"I felt connected to her," Dupré said. "I didn't feel connected to him. Her pain. And I just saw the pain in her eyes."
Much of the profile uses Cause-Effect as the main organization principle (the effect on Dupré's mother and stepfather):
Dupré is well aware of the pain she caused her own family. Her mother's sadness was intensified by pressure to turn against her daughter.

"So many people told her to kick me out," Dupré said. "You know, don't, why are you taking her in? And my mom's response is, 'She's a piece of me. How can you just throw it out?'"

Dupré's relationship with her stepfather has been particularly strained.

"He was so disgusted with me when everything happened," Dupré said, adding that he wouldn't look at her or hug her for quite some time. "Now it's, it's getting better. And we're working on our relationship."
Cause-Effect (Dupré's goal is to sing) is followed by Definition ("that's not who I am"):
Dupré says her only ambition now is to pursue the singing career of which she has always dreamed. She has received a number of lucrative offers, from reality shows to $1 million to pose for Hustler magazine, but she has turned them all down.
Now Contradiction is used; that is, Dupré tells who she is by who she is NOT. This is followed by Cause-Effect ("do what I love"), then Definition ("who I am"), finally ending in Cause-Effect again ("I'm not going to let this change who I am"; the state will not pursue charges; Dupré wants time to heal, etc.:
"You stop and think, but that's not who I am," she said. "And that's not what I want to do. I want to go after my music and do what I love. And not lose track of who I am on the way. I'm trying to pursue my music. I'm still living for it. I'm not gonna give up my dream. I'm not going to change. I'm not going to let this change who I am. And what I love."

Legal experts say it is unlikely that Dupré will be charged with a crime because federal prosecutors have announced they will not seek any criminal charges against the former governor.

"I needed to give myself time to heal," Dupré said. "And the people that were hurt by my choices time to heal, as well. And now it's time for me to tell my side of the story. And for people to get to know me. The real me, not, not the person that was created by the media."

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