HOW DO I LOVE YOU?
(Being a parody of the famous love sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning,
using the same rhyme scheme: ABBAABBACDCDCD, but written from a child to its parent.)
using the same rhyme scheme: ABBAABBACDCDCD, but written from a child to its parent.)
How do I love you? Let me tell you, Dad!
I love you to the sum of all you have
In cash and credit cards, and what you gave
To me this year in gifts. Still, I am sad
That I don't have the Rolls I wish I had—
Or that new Macintosh. And how I crave
To own the Gucci boots my classmates rave
About! O Father! I am going mad
Trying to put in words the love I feel
For you, and how I think about you all
The time—as when I want to have a meal
In an expensive bistro, or I call
You on my cell phone when a discount deal
Is advertised in a chic fashion mall:
It's then I love you with the greatest zeal!
Below is Browning's original sonnet.
HOW DO I LOVE THEE?
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
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