Composition: Sample writing

This is an example of the kind of writing you should aim for. It is not the best writing, but it's reasonably specific and concrete.
It's taken from the diary of Anne Frank, a young girl who perished in the holocaust. She writes from her hiding place in Amsterdarm.
First we note the concrete noun, "horse chestut," instead of the general noun, "tree." We get a slight level of lower generality in "bare branches" (compare: just "branches"). We get two strong verbs: "glittered" and "swooped."
Rewrite these sentences without the strong verbs and note the difference: "whose bare branches had droplets" and "as they flew by." See the difference?
Note lower levels of generality in the prepositional phrase, "with droplets" ("glittered" alone, though a strong verb, would not be as specific if not followed by "with droplets"). Then we get another concrete and specific noun: "gulls."
Notice how dull the the following phrase ("and the other birds") sounds, because too general. Anne Frank was an observant writer, but not a professional writer. A professional writer would have patiently identified "the other birds."
Anne Frank concludes with a cause-effect development of her ideas, telling how this sight "moved us so" her family "could not speak." Note however that she's telling us, not showing us. Of course, she's a young girl, and not a professional writer. But the professional writer would have showed the family unable to speak because of the sight; or expressed this in action or dialogue.
Finally, notice that the writer who quoted Ann Frank was specific too, carefully noting the exact date on which this entry was written into Frank's diary.

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