By JIM FITZGERALD, Associated Press Writer
MOUNT KISCO, N.Y. - Actor Christopher Reeve, who soared through the air and leapt tall buildings as "Superman," turned personal tragedy into a public crusade, becoming the nation's most recognizable spokesman for spinal cord research — from a wheelchair. Reeve went into cardiac arrest Saturday while at his Pound Ridge home, then [he: omission] fell into a coma and [he] died Sunday at a hospital surrounded by his family, his publicist said. He was 52.
The first ¶ introduces Reeve as subject. Note how simple an appositive is ("Actor, CR"), saving a lot of words on a relative phrase: "who is an actor"). The only other comment I'll make is that the writer might have made a 2d ¶ at "Reeve went into cardiac arrest," etc. but chose not to. Repetition of Reeve's name would have established coherence.
His advocacy for stem cell research helped it emerge as a major campaign issue between President Bush and his Democratic opponent, John Kerry. His name was even mentioned by Kerry during the second presidential debate Friday evening.
Here a simple possessive pronoun links ¶2 with ¶1.
Reeve, left paralyzed from the neck down after a riding accident and who pushed for funding to help others like himself, was hospitalized the following day. In the last week Reeve had developed a serious systemic infection from a pressure wound, a common complication for people living with paralysis.
Repetition of Reeve's name establishes coherence in this new ¶. Then there's paraphrastic repetition (saying the same thing in different words) at the end: "for people living with paralysis."
Dana Reeve, Christopher's wife, thanked her husband's personal staff of nurses and aides, "[and thanked: omission] as well as the millions of fans from around the world who have supported and loved my husband over the years."
Another possessive, links this ¶ with the last ¶. Here the appositive form is reversed; but the logic is, "Christopher's wife, Dana Reeve," etc.
Reeve's life changed completely after he broke his neck in May 1995 when he was thrown from his horse during an equestrian competition in Culpeper, Va.
Yet another possessive linking of ¶'s.
Enduring months of therapy to allow him to breathe for longer and longer periods without a respirator, Reeve emerged to lobby Congress for better insurance protection against catastrophic injury and to move an Academy Award audience to tears with a call for more films about social issues.
Despite the first clause, the subject is "Reeve," repeating his name for coherence.
"Hollywood needs to do more," he said in the March 1996 Oscar awards appearance. "Let's continue to take risks. Let's tackle the issues. In many ways our film community can do it better than anyone else. There is no challenge, artistic or otherwise, that we can't meet."
Here a quote is used for a new ¶. "Hollywood" is a synonymic replacement for the Academy Award audience of the previous ¶, while "Oscar Awards appearance" is a paraphrastic replacement. "Let's" is repeated once (used twice) and includes Reeves and that Hollywood community, as does the plural possessive, "our." "Challenge" is a head noun, under which is included "artistic [challenge] or other [challenges]."
He returned to directing, and [he] even returned to acting in a 1998 production of "Rear Window," a modern update of the Hitchcock thriller about a man in a wheelchair who becomes convinced a neighbor has been murdered. Reeve won a Screen Actors Guild award for best actor.
Pronoun replacement refers back to Reeve in previous ¶'s. "Reeve" is then included in the head noun class of "best actor."
"I was worried that only acting with my voice and my face, I might not be able to communicate effectively enough to tell the story," Reeve said. "But I was surprised to find that if I really concentrated, and just let the thoughts happen, that they would read on my face. With so many close-ups, I knew that my every thought would count."
Another quote ¶. "Face" and "voice" belong to the class of "Reeve" (parts of the member of that class). "The story" refers to Rear Window. "Every thought" also belongs to the head noun of "Reeve."
In 2000, Reeve was able to move his index finger, and a specialized workout regimen made his legs and arms stronger. He also regained sensation in other parts of his body. He vowed to walk again.
A time change changes the ¶. Reeve is the head noun for parts of his body mentioned afterwards, thus referring back to Reeve. "Walk" refers back to "move [his index finger] and "regained [sensation]."
"I refuse to allow a disability to determine how I live my life. I don't mean to be reckless, but setting a goal that seems a bit daunting actually is very helpful toward recovery," Reeve said.
Another quote, another ¶. These quotes are coherently at lower levels of generality: "He vowed to walk again" in last ¶ is taken to a lower level of specificity in this ¶. The words rubricated above are all related.
Before the accident, his athletic, 6-foot-4-inch frame and love of adventure made him a natural, if largely unknown, choice for the title role in the first "Superman" movie in 1978. He insisted on performing his own stunts.
Another time change, another ¶. In context, "choice," "title role," and "Superman" are synonomic replacements.
Although he reprised the role three times, Reeve often worried about being typecast as an action hero.
Conjunction ¶. However, I don't like separating this ¶ from the next one, especially since there's only one sentence in this ¶. "Role" and "action hero" are synonymic replacements of Reeve, whose name is both repeated and replaced by a pronoun.
Though he owed his fame to it, Reeve made a concerted effort to, as he often put it, "escape the cape." He played an embittered, crippled Vietnam veteran in the 1980 Broadway play "Fifth of July," [he also played] a lovestruck time-traveler in the 1980 movie "Somewhere in Time," and [he also played] an aspiring playwright in the 1982 suspense thriller "Deathtrap."
Here, lower levels of generality illustrate the topic idea ("escape the cape"). Elliptical series enforces coherence (see bracketed omissions), as does apposition such as "1980 movie, Somewhere in Time).
More recent films included John Carpenter's "Village of the Damned," and the HBO movies "Above Suspicion" and "In the Gloaming," which he directed. Among his other film credits are "The Remains of the Day," "The Aviator," and "Morning Glory."
A ¶ of time again ("more recent"). The film titles belong to a subset of the class "recent films." "Which" is a pronoun replaced of one film (In the Gloaming). "Other film credits" is a synonymic replacement of "films" in the first sentence, while (again) the films belong to a subset of "other film credits."
Reeve was born Sept. 25, 1952, in New York City, son of a novelist and a newspaper reporter. About the age of 10, he made his first stage appearance — in Gilbert and Sullivan's "The Yeoman of the Guard" at McCarter Theater in Princeton, N.J.
Here a simple repetition of Reeve's name starts a new ¶. Note how the essay is organized, from present to past. We'll study organization ideas later. But organization can be from front to back, back to front, least to most important, above to below, past to present, present to past, or other variations of time and space order. "Reeve" is replaced by "son," while "his . . . stage appearance" is replaced by "Yeoman of the Guard."
After graduating from Cornell University in 1974, he landed a part as coldhearted bigamist Ben Harper (news) on the television soap opera "Love of Life." He also performed frequently on stage, winning his first Broadway role as the grandson of a character played by Katharine Hepburn (news) in "A Matter of Gravity."
Another time ¶ ("After"). "Bigamist" refers back to "part," as does "role" and "grandson."
Reeve's first movie role was a minor one in the submarine disaster movie "Gray Lady Down," released in 1978. "Superman" soon followed. Reeve was selected for the title role from among about 200 aspirants.
Possessive noun changes subject ("first movie"), for new ¶. "Minor one" refers back to "role" (repeated later) as does "Superman," while "200 aspirants" is the main class of which "Reeve" is a member, thus referring back to him.
Active in many sports, Reeve owned several horses and competed in equestrian events regularly. Witnesses to the 1995 accident said Reeve's horse had cleared two of 15 fences during the jumping event and stopped abruptly at the third, flinging the actor headlong to the ground. Doctors said he fractured the top two vertebrae in his neck and damaged his spinal cord.
Repeat of Reeve's name introduces new topic: his sports activities. "The actor" is a synonymic replacement of "Reeve."
While filming "Superman" in London, Reeve met modeling agency co-founder Gae Exton, and the two began a relationship that lasted several years. The couple had two sons, but [they] were never wed.
Repeat of Reeve's name, linking him to girlfriend; then, by cause-effect, children. "Reeve" belongs to the bigger class of "two" and "couple," as well as "relationship."
Reeve later married Dana Morosini; they had one son, Will, 11. Reeve also is survived by his mother, Barbara Johnson; his father, Franklin Reeve; his brother, Benjamin Reeve; and his two children from his relationship with Exton, Matthew, 25, and Alexandra, 21.
Time ¶ again ("later"), with repeat of Reeve's name making obvious coherence. Note that repetition is the basis of all art, including repeating sounds in poetry, repeating shapes in painting, repeating phrases in music, etc. The Bible would be dull without repetition.
No plans for a funeral were immediately announced.
This is a "generic" ending, like a "moral" is a generic (kind of) ending for a fable, thus getting a ¶ to itself. Another example is a movie or television review, with the final ¶ reporting theatre location and time or television channel and time. "Star Wars is now showing at the Bijou Theatre on Main Street. First showing starts at 10:00 a.m." "The Jay Leno Show can be seen Monday to Friday evenings starting at 11:30 p.m. on Channel 4."
A few months after the accident, he told interviewer Barbara Walters that he considered suicide in the first dark days after he was injured. But he quickly overcame such thoughts when he saw his children.
¶ of time ("after"). But this ¶ is poorly placed. The possessive pronoun is too far from the last mention of Reeve's name and the ¶ mixes up too many time periods, adding confusion. "Thoughts" refers back to "suicide."
"I could see how much they needed me and wanted me... and how lucky we all are and that my brain is on straight."
Quotation ¶. Lower level of generality from last ¶. "They" refers back to "children" in previous ¶. "We" refers back to "Reeve" as a member of the class of "lucky" people. But this ¶ too is out of place; although it would have been effective in the middle of the essay, it is too weak for an ending.
As you can see, this email was sent out on June 5, '05, at 1:02 a.m. (below is a print of the email as it looks in my SENT folder, with all student names). I don't know why none of you got it; I was certain I had sent it, and once it's in the SENT folder it's unlikely that it was never sent. It's also unusual that it was never received by any of the recipients (it's possible one or two may have had server problems, but not all of you). Anyway, I'm sending it again. Try to finish this before the end of the week or weekend.
Also, please inform INGRID that her folder is not complete; she only has finished copies of her work, not the several draft versions; there's no interview, etc. She should contact me as soon as possible. (Below is just a picture of the original email; underneath the horizontal line is the original email.)
COHERENCE EXERCISES
{The following quoted texts were chosen entirely at random, with no intent to make the exercises either more simple or less so.}
2. Tired as I was, - exhausted, in fact, - I was prevented from sleeping by the pain in my knee. It was all I could do to keep from groaning aloud. At home I should undoubtedly have given vent to my anguish; but this new and elemental environment seemed to call for a savage repression.
2. Upon the eighth night I was more than usually cautious in opening the door. A watch's minute hand moves more quickly than did mine.
2. This savage was the only person present who seemed to notice my entrance; because he was the only one who could not read, and, therefore, was not reading those frigid inscriptions on the wall.
We note first, in "Sleigh Ride," the use of direct address ("just hear" and "come on") as well as the imitated sounds ("jingle-ing," etc.). Then the nice use of dialogue, "Yoo-hoo!" which adds simple speech forms to more conventional words heard at Xmas. The idiom, "lovely weather" is an example of how "simple" can be "good" too. Other dialogue follows ("Giddyap!"), then a metaphor, "wonderland," which admittedly might be not that original ("Winter Wonderland" is an older song). But "wintry fairy land" is a little more inventive. Then we get the strong verb, "gliding," which adds force to the lyric. "Nice and rosy" is called an "hendyadis" in rhetoric, replacing an adverb with an adjective and conjunction, so that "nicely rosy" becomes "nice and rosy." It makes for more vivid language. "Comfy cozy" is an invented alliterative phrase (comfy=comfortable), adding more color. "Snuggled" is another example of a strong verb. "Birds of a feather" is an example of use of a proverb ("Birds of a feather stick together") to develop an idea. "Before us" and "chorus" is a good example of a feminine rhyme (a feminine rhyme matches the next-to-last syllable, not the last, as in "cherry/merry"). "Farmer Gray" in the song's verse adds a proper noun (name) making the song personal, so stronger. "Perfect" is repeated for rhetorical effect. "Singing" and "sing" use different forms of a word for effect, while "single" echoes the sound of both. "Stop" is nicely placed when the line stops, for effect. So is "pop," while adding sound imitation. Concrete nouns are used in "coffee" (though a bit common) and "pumpkin pie" (less common, and seasonly appropriate). Note how "coffee" would have been improved if "cider" or "eggnog" had been used instead. So there's a weakness in the song (this is always a matter of opinion, though with good reason for having an opinion). Because the other two would have been less common and more seasonly specific. Then note another strong use of a proper noun (name), "Currier and Ives," famous for their sentimental prints. Then there's another nice repetition, of "things." Note how deliberate repetition is different from careless repetition, the one being effective writing, the other ineffective.
Sleigh Ride: Just hear those sleigh bells jingle-ing, Ring ting tingle-ing too. Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you. Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling "You Hoo." Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you. Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap let's go. Let's look at the show. We're riding in a wonderland of snow. Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap it's grand just holding your hand. We're gliding along with the song of a wintry fairy land. Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy cozy are we. We're snuggled up together like two birds of a feather should be. Let's take the road before us and sing a chorus or two. Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you. There's a birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray: It'll be the perfect ending of a perfect day. We'll be singing the songs we love to sing without a single stop. At the fireplace while we watch the chestnuts pop! Pop! There's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy when they pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie. It'll nearly be like a picture print by Currier and Ives. These wonderful things are the things we remember all through our lives. Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy cozy are we. We're snuggled up together like two birds of a feather should be. Let's take the road before us and sing a chorus or two. Come on, it's lovely weather lovely weather, come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you, with you, with you, with you!
Baby It's Cold Outside
I really can't stay. But baby it's cold outside. I've got to go 'way. But baby it's cold outside. This evening has been Been hoping that you'd drop in So very nice I'll hold your hands they're just like ice. My mother will start to worry Beautiful what's your hurry? And father will be pacing the floor Listen to the fireplace roar So really I'd better scurry Beautiful please don't hurry Well maybe just a half a drink more Put some records on while I pour. The neighbors might think But baby it's bad out there Say what's in this drink? No cabs to be had out there I wish I knew how Your eyes are like starlight now To break this spell I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell. I oughta say no no no sir Mind if I move in closer? At least I'm gonna say that I tried What's the sense of hurting my pride I really can't stay Oh baby don't hold out Ah, but it's cold outside. Baby it's cold outside I simply must go But baby it's cold outside The answer is No Ooh baby it's cold outside The welcome has been How lucky that you dropped in So nice and warm Look out the window at that storm. My sister will be suspicious Gosh, your lips look delicious My brother will be there at the door Waves upon a tropical shore My maiden aunt's mind is vicious Gosh your lips are delicious Well maybe just a cigarette more Never such a blizzard before. I've got to get home But baby you'd freeze out there Say lend me a comb It's up to your knees out there You've really been grand I thrill when you touch my hand But don't you see How can you do this thing to me? There's bound to be talk tomorrow Think of my lifelong sorrow At least there will be plenty implied If you caught pneumonia and died I really can't stay Get over that old doubt, Baby it’s cold, baby it’s cold outside!
RAINDROPS ON ROSES AND WHISKERS ON KITTENS, BRIGHT COPPER KETTLES AND WARM WOOLEN MITTENS, BROWN PAPER PACKAGES TIED UP WITH STRINGS, THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS, CREAM COLORED PONIES AND CRISP APPLE STRUDELS, DOOR BELLS AND SLEIGH BELLS AND SCHNITZEL WITH NOODLES, WILD GEESE THAT FLY WITH THE MOON ON THEIR WINGS, THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS, GIRLS IN WHITE DRESSES WITH BLUE SATIN SASHES,
SNOWFLAKES THAT STAY ON MY NOSE AND EYE LASHES, SILVER WHITE WINTERS THAT MELT INTO SPRINGS, THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS, WHEN THE DOG BITES, WHEN THE BEE STINGS, WHEN I’M FEELING SAD, I SIMPLY REMEMBER MY FAVORITE THINGS, AND THEN I DON’T FEEL SO BAD.
Its a marshmallow world in the winter When the snow comes to cover the ground Its the time for play, its a whipped cream day I wait for it the whole year round. Those are marshmallow clouds being friendly In the arms of the evergreen trees And the sun is red like a pumpkin head Its shining so your nose wont freeze. The world is your snowball, see how it grows Thats how it goes whenever it snows The world is your snowball just for a song Get out and roll it along Its a yum-yummy world made for sweethearts Take a walk with your favorite girl Its a sugar date, what if spring is late In winter its a marshmallow world.
The Christmas Song
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, Yuletide carols being sung by a choir, And folks dressed up like Eskimos. Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe, Help to make the season bright, Tiny tots with their eyes all a-glow, Will find it hard to sleep tonight.They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh, And ev'ry mother's child is gonna spy, To see if reindeer really know how to fly. And so I'm offering this simple phrase, To kids from one to ninety-two, Although it's been said Many times, Many ways Merry Christmas to you. And so I'm offering this simple phrase, To kids from one to ninety-two, Although it's been said Many times, Many ways Merry Christmas to you.
City sidewalks, busy sidewalks Dressed in holiday style In the air there's a feeling of Christmas Children laughing, people passing Meeting smile after smile And on every street corner youll hear (Chorus): Silver bells, silver bells Its Christmas time in the city Ring-a-ling, hear them ring Soon it will be Christmas day. Strings of street lights, even stop lights Blink a bright red and green As the shoppers rush home with their treasures Hear the snow crunch, see the kids bunch This is Santa's big scene And above all this bustle you'll hear
HARD CANDY CHRISTMAS
The writer uses parallel structure ("Maybe I'll . . . ") and many details of everyday life ("dye my hair," "sleep real late," etc.) to express the main idea. "Bounce right back" is a strong idiom (meaning to come back quickly); so are "lie low" and "hit the bars. "Apple wine" is an example of a specific noun (not just any wine). The writer also combines a simile ("like a hard candy Christmas") with a metaphor ("hard candy Christmas"). Hard candy are candy for sucking, usually in Christmas flavor (peppermint, cherry, etc.). The phrase is suggestive, not definite, since it's not clear what the writer means. Perhaps all the lonely person has is the candy to suck on.
Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair Maybe I'll move somewhere Maybe I'll get a car Maybe I'll drive so far They'll all lose track Me, I'll bounce right back Maybe I'll sleep real late Maybe I'll lose some weight Maybe I'll clear my junk Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine Me, I'll be just Fine and Dandy Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas I'm barely getting through tomorrow But still I won't let Sorrow bring me way down I'll be fine and dandy Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas I'm barely getting through tomorrow But still I won't let Sorrow bring me way down Hey, maybe I'll learn to sew Maybe I'll just lie low Maybe I'll hit the bars Maybe I'll count the stars until the dawn Me, I will go on Maybe I'll settle down Maybe I'll just leave town Maybe I'll have some fun Maybe I'll meet someone And make him mine. Me, I'll be just Fine and dandy Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas I'm barely getting through tomorrow But still I won't let Sorrow bring me way down I'll be fine and dandy Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas I'm barely getting through tomorrow But still I won't let Sorrow bring me way down I'll be fine and dandy Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas I'm barely getting through tomorrow But still I won't let Sorrow bring me way down 'Cause I'll be fine (I'll be fine) Oh, I'll be fine
This whole song is based on cause-effect (a commonplace, or place where the writer can develop an idea, by showing its causes or effects). Here cause-effect almost writes the song. Of course, concrete nouns help too (raindrops, Christmas cards, Christmas trees, snowflakes, reindeer). The lyrics of this song were written by Hal David (Oscar winner for "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head") and the music by John Barry (famous for many James Bond films [this song is from one] as well as the classic romantic scores, Somewhere in Time, Born Free, Out of Africa, Dances with Wolves).
Do you know how Xmas trees are grown? They need sunshine. Sunshine can't grow Xmas trees alone. They need raindrops. Raindrops can't grow Xmas trees, here's the reason why: in the winter rain will freeze and the trees will die. Do you know how Xmas trees are grown? They need sunshine and raindrops, friendship and kindness, and most of all they need love. Do you know how Santa gets around? He needs snowflakes? Snowflakes cannot do it all I've found: he needs reindeer. Reindeer even though they try, they need other things. Once a need they have to fly and they don't have wings. Do you know how Santa gets around? He needs snowflakes and reindeer, sunshine and raindrops, friendship and kindness and most of all he needs love. Do you know how Xmas cards are made? They need pictures? Pictures can't complete them I'm afraid. They need greetings. Greetings say what's in your heart, that's what they are for. But when loved ones are apart Christmas cards need more. Do you know how Christmas cards are made? They need pictures and greetings, sunshine and raindrops, snowflakes and reindeer, friendship and kindness and most of all they need love.
Here "contradiction" (saying what something is not) is the main commonplace that builds the song. Using the common concrete nouns of Xmas (carols, mistletoe, glowing candles, holly leaves, silver bells), the writer nonetheless defines these as "not the most important part," which belongs to "a feeling in your heart." Sometimes it's easier to say what something is by saying what it is not. The song also includes a nice idiom ("do your part").
There are toys for girls and boys, silver bells make merry noise, yet you should remember from the start, Xmas is a feeling in your heart. Holly leaves and mistletoe, carols while the candles glow, these are not the most important part, Xmas is a feeling in your heart. Faith, and hope, good will to men, love and peace and faith again, let the prayers that Xmas brings brush your heart like angels' wings. Xmas Day will soon be gone yet the joy will linger on, if you only learn to do your part, let Xmas be a feeling in your heart. Faith, and hope, good will to men, love and peace and faith again, let the prayers that Xmas brings brush your heart like angels' wings. Xmas Day will soon be gone yet the joy will linger on, if you only learn to do your part, let Xmas be a feeling in your heart.
Right away we get a specific reference ("Deck the Halls"). The main devices here, though, are cause and effect and comparison (last year and this year). The snow coming down, the bells ringing, and the people around all help to establish the seasonal mood in contrast to the singer's mood.
They're singing "Deck the Halls" But it's not like Christmas at all I remember when you were here
And all the fun that we had last year The snow's coming down Now I'm watching it fall All the people around Baby please come home The church bells in town
All ringing in song Full of happy sounds Baby please come home They're singing "Deck the Halls" But it's not like Christmas at all I remember when you were here And all the fun that we had last year Now the snow's coming down Now I'm watching it fall Lot's of people around Baby please come home(won't you please, oh)They're singing "Deck the Halls" But it's not like Christmas at all I remember when you were here And all the fun that we had last year The snow's coming down
Now I'm watching it fall All the people around
Baby ,baby, baby please come home Baby please come home Baby please come home Baby please come home
Now I'm feeling all alone Oh the snow's coming down
Now I'm watching it fall...
Besides the idiomatic "trade," the main device here is the specific noun form (naming all the other holidays the singer wouldn't trade X'mas for). Take away the names of the holidays and there wouldn't be much of a song. It demonstrates the power of using specific language! Imagine the song saying, "I wouldn't trade Christmas for any other holiday" and you can see the difference.
Wouldn't trade Christmas, I love you the best, I wouldn't trade Christmas, no, no, never would I, Wouldn't trade Christmas, I love you the best.
It's time for the holly, the fun, and the folly and all of that jolly jazz, The people are glowing, the Santas are ho-ing, each window is showing it has all the latest in toy things, the daddy and boy things and all of that razzmatazz [razzle-dazzle], But I wouldn't trade Christmas, wouldn't trade Christmas for New Year's Day,Thanksgiving, Halloween and the rest. Christmas we love you the best! I wouldn't trade, no, no. never would I, wouldn't trade Christmas, I love you the best. The traffic gets poky, the turkey gets smoky, and all of that hokey stuff,the people are shopping for things they'll be swapping like filigree boxes of snuff,so you pour the hot toddy, to toast everybody, but can't pour the toddy enough, but I wouldn't trade Christmas, wouldn't trade Christmas for Father's Day or Mother's, Valentine, and the rest, Christmas we love you the best. The jingle bells jingle you feel the old tingle, you buy the Kris Kringle [Santa Claus] scene. The idea is clever but subways will never quite handle that huge evergreen.And the old office party, where Stanley and Molly keep drinking until they turn green. But I wouldn't trade Christmas, wouldn't trade Christmas for Labor Day, or Easter, Washington, and the rest, Christmas we love you the best.
An obvious example of how specific details add color to a composition: "singing carols," "stringing popcorn," "cookies baking," etc. There's a good simile too: "memories float like snowflakes." Then there's the repetition of "children" who have "children" of their own.
The song here uses "roses" to unify the lyric: it defines the mother, her memory, and becomes a symbol of other ideas (love, etc.). Although probably a Mother's Day song more than a Christmas song (it appears on an Elvis Presley Christmas album), the "rose" works in the same way as the "evergreen" tree; although unlike that tree, it cannot withstand the winter, still what it stands for withstands both the winter and time.
Part of the originality of the song is in a different point of view from the usual Christmas song. Santa is called "cutie" and it's assumed that Santa is really the singer's lover. But it's mostly concrete and specific nouns that add flavor to the song, along with idomatic word usage: "Sign your X on the line," "slip a sable under the tree," "one little thing." There's even a comic pun: "ring" (but not on the phone).
Delightful details add to the brilliance of this song. Idioms help too ("busy blur," "mad rush," "catch my breath"). Irony works too ("merry Xmas" but the singer is not in a holiday mood).
Don't think I have the energy To add to my already mad rush Just 'cause it's 'tis the season. The perfect gift for me would be completions and connections left from Last year, ski shop, Encounter, most interesting.
Had his number but never the time Most of '81 passed along those lines. So deck those halls, trim those trees Raise up cups of Christmas cheer, I just need to catch my breath, Christmas by myself this year.
Calendar picture, frozen landscape, Chilled this room for twenty-four days, Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with! Flashback to springtime, saw him again, Would've been good to go for lunch,
Couldn't agree when we were both free, we tried, we said we'd keep in touch. Didn't, of course, 'til summertime, Out to the beach to his boat could I join him? No, this time it was me, Sunburn in the third degree. Now the calendar's just one page And, of course, I am excited tonight's the night, but I've set my mind Not to do too much about it. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! But I think I'll miss this one this year. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! But I think I'll miss this one this year. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! But I think I'll miss this one this year. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! But I think I'll miss this one this year. Hardly dashing through the snow Cause I bundled up too tight Last minute have-to-do's A few cards a few calls 'Cause it's rsvp No thanks, no party lights It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax Turned down all of my invites. Last fall I had a night to myself, Same guy called, Halloween party, Waited all night for him to show, This time his car wouldn't go, Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late, Trudge on home to celebrate In a quiet way, unwind Doing Christmas right this time. A&P has provided me With the world's smallest turkey Already in the oven, nice and hot Oh damn! Guess what I forgot? So on with the boots, back out in the snow To the only all-night grocery, When what to my wondering eyes should appear In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year! "I'm spending this one alone," he said. "Need a break; this year's been crazy." I said, "Me too, but why are you? You mean you forgot cranberries too?" Then suddenly we laughed and laughed Caught on to what was happening That Christmas magic's brought this tale To a very happy ending! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Couldn't miss this one this year! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Couldn't miss this one this year!
Idiomatic usage defines this (hip hop) song: "chilling," "ill," "illin," "goodies," "smack dead," "G's," etc., but also a special point of view, avoiding all the Christmas cliches. Yet there are also many concrete nouns of a traditional kind (yule log, etc.) that add flavor and contrast to the idiomatic usage elsewhere.
When I see a man chilling with his dog in the park
I approached very slowly with my heart full of fear
Looked at his dog, oh my God, an ill reindeer
But then I was illin because the man had a beard
And a bag full of goodies, 12 o'clock had neared
So I turned my head a second and the man had gone
But he left his driver's wallet smack dead on the lawn
I picket the wallet up then I took a pause
Took out the license and it cold said "Santa Claus"
A million dollars in it, cold hundreds of G's
Enough to buy a boat and matching car with ease
But I'd never steal from Santa, cause that ain't right
So I'm going home to mail it back to him that night
But when I got home I bugged, cause under the tree
Was a letter from Santa and all the dough was for me
Mom's cooking chicken and collard greens Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese And Santa put gifts under Christmas trees Decorate the house with lights at night Snow's on the ground, snow white so bright
In the fireplace is the yule log Beneath the mistle toe as we drink egg nog The rhymes you hear are the rhymes of Darryl's But each and every year we bust Chrsitmas carols (Christmas melodies)
Run-D.M.C. :Rhymes so loud and prod you hear it
It's Christmas time and we got the spirit Jack Frost chillin, the ?orchas out? And that's what Christmas is all about The time is now, the place is here And the whole wide world is filled with cheer
D.M.C.:My name's D.M.C. with the mic in my hand
And I'm chilling and coolin just like a snowman So open your eyes, lend us an ear We want to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Another song that takes another view towards Xmas, using unfamiliar imagery ("drunk tank," etc.), similes ("cars big as bars"), metaphors ("rivers of gold"), strong verbs ("howled"), specific nouns and references ("Sinatra," "Queen of New York City" "Galway Bay," "The Rare Old Mountain Dew"), and slang ("drip," "punk," "slut," etc.) to tell a complete short story and character study in a few minutes.
I turned my face away And dreamed about you Got on a lucky one Came in eighteen to one I’ve got a feeling This year’s for me and you So happy Christmas I love you baby I can see a better time When all our dreams come true They’ve got cars big as bars They’ve got rivers of gold But the wind goes right through you It’s no place for the old When you first took my hand On a cold Christmas Eve You promised me Broadway was waiting for me You were handsome You were pretty Queen of New York City When the band finished playing They howled out for more Sinatra was swinging, All the drunks they were singing We kissed on a corner Then danced through the night The boys of the NYPD choir Were singing "Galway Bay" And the bells were ringing out For christmas day You’re a bum You’re a punk You’re an old slut on junk Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed You scumbag, you maggot You cheap lousy faggot Happy Christmas your arse I pray God it’s our last The boys of the NYPD choir Were singing "Galway Bay" And the bells were ringing out For Christmas Day I could have been someone Well so could anyone You took my dreams from me When I first found you I kept them with me babe I put them with my own Can’t make it all alone I’ve built my dreams around you The boys of the NYPD choir Were singing "Galway Bay" And the bells were ringing out For Christmas day.
The song begins with concrete nouns and specific images (frosted window panes, candles gleaming, etc.). Then the writer uses a cause-effect commonplace (Xmas is when people fall in love). But what about "things"? Doesn't that violate the rule of lower levels of generality. Yes, but that rule is always a matter of judgment, as I've said many times, as with all writing. Writing always depends on purpose, audience, and focus. Here what's in Santa's bag is not as important as the general spirit of Xmas, which has already been defined by "frosted window panes, candles gleaming inside," etc. The song is about the spirit of Xmas, not the gifts of Xmas, and the writer has used up enough of the time allowed him including concrete nouns to evoke the season. Finally, we've focused here mostly on the lyric. But of course a song (as distinct from a lyric or tune) is a combination of lyric and tune and really cannot be separated. As the song says, this is a song in waltz (three-quarter) time, which gives it a special distinction and adds to the romance of the lyric, which is about falling in love (though all kinds of love).
The following quoted texts were chosen entirely at random, with no intent to make the exercises more simple or less so. The goal is to write a transition that will creatively link these two paragraphs. Advanced writers can make coherence between ideas rather easily. If you can do this with texts you have not written, you will soon find it easier to do this with your own ideas/texts. As an example, I will use two unrelated sentences from two unrelated texts.
2. He began the 3,000-mile trek from his Oceanside, Calif., home to Manhattan on April 10, 2005, when he weighed 410 pounds and was suffering severe depression after accidentally killing two pedestrians while driving 15 years ago.
Students must believe me that I chose these texts entirely at random; if anything, they looked difficult (especially the first), but I refrained from choosing what might seem easier texts. For those students who wish to check the source sites, just click on the numers (1, 2). Here's my complete transition exercise: (Note, one may add an additional paragraph at the end, if necessary, as I did. After all, writers have the freedom to write anything needed to insure coherence. The main goal of the exercise is to keep, intact, the two texts you choose. If you can establish coherence under those restraints, you will have discovered the art of writing transitions, which will be far easier when, using your own composition, you can change words, too, when necessary. My text is in this color, while the two borrowed texts are numbered:
Another burial area found some 12 miles away on the reservoir floor has 2,360 tombs also believed to date from Koguryo, Xinhua said.
But 12 miles was so far away. However badly he wished to see those tombs, Tom had already walked more than 3000 miles and was mentally, if not physically, exhausted.
He began the 3,000-mile trek from his Oceanside, Calif., home to Manhattan on April 10, 2005, when he weighed 410 pounds and was suffering severe depression after accidentally killing two pedestrians while driving 15 years ago.
But that was only the first leg of his journey. After a tearful reunion with his family in New York, he started out for China, using any means he could: planes, boats, buses, pedicabs. His goal was to reach those tombs: perhaps to face his fears; he was not sure. He was certain only that he must continue, come what may.
2. Tired as I was, - exhausted, in fact, - I was prevented from sleeping by the pain in my knee. It was all I could do to keep from groaning aloud. At home I should undoubtedly have given vent to my anguish; but this new and elemental environment seemed to call for a savage repression.
2. Upon the eighth night I was more than usually cautious in opening the door. A watch's minute hand moves more quickly than did mine.
2. This savage was the only person present who seemed to notice my entrance; because he was the only one who could not read, and, therefore, was not reading those frigid inscriptions on the wall.
Always in brainstorming for ideas, one relies on tried-and-true methods, such as the 5 W's + H (why, when, who, what, where, how), the so-called commonplaces (defining something, dividing it up into smaller categories of significance, comparing it, contrasting it, quoting others' opinions about it, giving examples, giving the causes or effects of something, etc.). These commonplaces pertain only to content; matters of coherence, amplification (amount of material or illustration), introduction, body, conclusion, and judgment (evaluation) must still be worked out.
Here are some examples of applied brainstorming:
1. Who is the artist (not only today, but an entire background, yet brief);
2. What kind of music is in this CD: genre.
3. How is this music different from other CD's by this artist? Or how is this music different from a similar music by other artists? Or how are the effects of this music created: for example: guitar riffs, drum patterns, soft piano arpeggios, instrumentation (harps, mandolin), disco beat, smoky sax solos, bluegrass harmonies, etc.?
4. When was this music made/released?
5. Where was the artist born? Or where did the music originate (Brazil, South Africa, French Canada, etc.)?
6. Why (in your view) was the album a failure? A hit? A major hit?
"With a heavy disco beat constant throughout the album, it's not hard to understand why this album was such a great success. In addition, its outrageous lyrics poking fun at many sacred cows, explain why this album has gone multi-platinum in a matter of weeks. Who can resist lyrics such as the following: [quote lyrics]."
1. What kind of music does Norah Jones play?
2. Why do people like the music (do you think)?
3. How is her sound created?
4. How is her sound different from other contemporary albums?
And so on.
Remember, when brainstorming, the power of commonplaces is in their recombination. In other words, a commonplace such as "definition" can be used in many different places in your review: defining the music, defining the artist, defining the audience, defining the lyrics, etc. Then "division" (like the other commonplaces) can be used in many places too: dividing up what makes that music the genre it is [Country music = steel guitars, homely lyrics, patriotic sentiment, brash vocals, etc.], giving many reasons what made the album a failure or success, or dividing up the album's theme into several levels: "The lyrics show that the singer is disturbed by his relationships with women, his failure in society, and his frustration at realizing his goal of making great music." Then you give examples in the lyrics of each theme.
The possibilities of combination are endless.
Edgar Allan Poe's The Fall of the House of Usher
Throughout a sunny and cloudless day in the summer of the year of our graduation, when the heat burned oppressively on our backs, we used to swim together, Veronica and I, in our walking shorts, splashing in the beautiful blue stretch of ocean off the coast of California; and, finally, we would sun ourselves, as the sunset blazoned the sky a russet hue, lying underneath the monumental rocks that, we imagined, Balboa himself may have sat upon centuries ago when he "discovered" the Pacific.
I know not how it was -- but, with the first glimpse of the building, a sense of insufferable gloom pervaded my spirit. I say insufferable; for the feeling was unrelieved by any of that half-pleasurable, because poetic sentiment, with which the mind usually receives even the sternest natural images of the desolate or terrible.
I don't know why, but with the first breezes from the cool ocean, a sense of deep contentment pervaded us. I say, "contentment"; for the feeling was untarnished by any sense of anxiety with which the mind compromises even the most cheerful moods of happiness or joy.
I took this text from the opening of Edgar Allan Poe's The Fall of the House of Usher, which begins with probably one of the great paragraphs in American literature, a stately, intricate flow of solemn rhythm, evoking gloom more than an image from a movie screen. As a modern, I simplified the rhythms, as well as the vocabulary.
By BOB THOMAS
Now the Rev. Mother Dolores Hart and prioress of the cloistered community at Abbey of Regina Laudis in Connecticut, she has been renewing friendships from her studio years.
Why? To spread awareness about a largely mysterious neurological disorder that afflicts countless Americans, including herself, called peripheral idiopathic neuropathy.
Last month, Hart testified at a congressional hearing in Washington, citing the need for research into a cause and cure for the painful and crippling disease.
Over a recent lunch at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel, Mother Dolores spoke of her ordeal with the disease. She also told of her long ambition to be an actress and what ended that phase of her life.
She seems in radiant health at 67, her cheeks smooth and rosy, her blue eyes clear. She wore traditional nun's attire, with a couple of additions: a green hand-knit sweater under the robe and a jaunty black beret.
In 1999, Hart underwent a root canal. The dentist suggested doing another root canal at the same time, and she agreed. Two days later, Hart awakened with searing pain.
"I couldn't eat," she recalled. "When I put my feet on the floor, I couldn't stand. My feet felt like they were on fire. I couldn't talk. I thought, 'This is ridiculous.' I couldn't understand what in the world was going on. A doctor said this would improve, but it kept getting worse."
For six months, she journeyed from doctor to doctor, yet none could figure out what was causing her pain. Finally, a New York specialist tried changing her medicine and she gradually was able to leave her wheelchair and resume a more normal life.
The luncheon conversation moved to her acting career, and she spoke fondly of that period in her life.
"From the age of 7, I never in my life wanted to be anything but an actress," Hart said. She was a strong-willed girl even at that age. When her parents divorced in Los Angeles but were constantly wrangling, she wrote a letter to her grandmother in Chicago asking to live with her. She was soon on a train to the Windy City — alone — a ticket pinned to her coat.
Hart's grandfather was a projectionist at a downtown movie palace and she often accompanied him to work. Her special job was to awaken him from naps every 12 minutes so he could change reels.
Years later, Hart was back in Los Angeles playing the lead in a school production of "Saint Joan" and an admirer asked where she had studied acting technique. She admitted that her only schooling came from analyzing actors' performances — without sound, no less — in the projection booth of a Chicago theater.
A friend notified the studios of a remarkable young actress in "Saint Joan," and Hal Wallis, an independent producer at Paramount, sent a scout to check her out. He ended up recommending Hart, and a film test and contract soon followed.
She made her screen debut as Elvis' love interest in 1957's "Loving You," his first starring role.
"I had no idea who Elvis Presley was," she admitted. "When I first met him, he was just a charming and very simple young boy with longer sideburns than most. He couldn't have been more gracious. He jumped to his feet and said, 'Good afternoon, Miss Dolores.' He and Gary Cooper were the only ones in Hollywood who called me that."
Hart made another film with Presley, "King Creole," and appeared in prestigious productions such as "Wild is the Wind," with Anna Magnani and Anthony Quinn, and "Lonelyhearts," with Montgomery Clift and Myrna Loy.
"I was never a star," she insisted. "Being a star means your name is above the title. Mine never was."
A clever talker, she was a regular on the talk-show circuit and was a fan-magazine favorite.
"I really loved the acting life," she said. But when she was appearing in the Western "The Plunderers" with Jeff Chandler in 1959, she looked in the mirror and heard a voice saying: "You're really enjoying this, but you're not going to do this much longer." She was puzzled but continued working.
After nine months in New York with the play "The Pleasure of His Company," she complained to a friend that she was weary. The friend recommended a retreat at a Connecticut monastery. Hart was hesitant but decided to go. She found a remarkable peace. She continued returning to the monastery twice a year.
Back in Hollywood, she became engaged to Los Angeles businessman Don Robinson. One night, she related, he asked her, "Do you love me?" She answered, "Yes, I love you." He asked her again. Same answer. "It doesn't sound right," he said. The engagement was canceled, and in December 1962, she flew to Connecticut, never to return — until now.
Mother Dolores is proud of one element of her Hollywood life: being invited to become a member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. She is still a member and votes each year for the
Academy Awards.
Does that mean she sees all the nominees, no matter how bawdy?
"Yes, I do," she replied with a smile. "If you're a Benedictine, as I am, you're supposed to be capable of integrating anything."
Good opening line. The brief sentence is stronger than a long one would be (it's always a matter of judgment).
She is as comfortable talking about U.S. immigration policy and the plight of migrant farm workers as she is having her bikini-clad body on a mega-sized magazine cover spread out in the Nevada desert so that it can be seen from outer space.
Now the writer uses an unusually long sentence, also just right for his purpose. It uses the commonplace of contrast as well as that of example (he gives examples in both instances).
Longoria, 31, is a beauty, but her brain is big, too and she wants folks to know it. So when the media focuses on her sex life with boyfriend Tony Parker, as happened last month, Longoria gets irritated.
"It's annoying, absolutely," she told Reuters ahead of Friday's release of her new movie, thriller "The Sentinel," in which she portrays a rookie U.S.
Secret Service agent.
Dialogue quotes are well chosen. What is missing is a selective description of the subject. This is apparently because readers supposedly know her; besides, there are pictures included. Still, description is not simply documentarian, as in a police report; rather description always has (or should have) a point of view, or focus: the criminal would be selectively described by his scowl, the suspicious person by his darting eyes, the studious person by her near-sighted gaze, etc. The point is to make the person come alive.
"I respect good journalism. I respect certain newspapers and certain publications, and they are just watered down by the bounty for gossip and pictures and information that is irrelevant and uninteresting," she said.
Of course, a lot of that attention comes from the image she has built as a sexpot. She was among People magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People" and was No. 1 on Maxim magazine's "Hot 100" list of sexy women. She called the publicity "flattering," but added it is Hollywood's starmaking machine talking, not her.
Note the selective use of a single-word quote here ("flattering"), showing that the writer is in control and is not simply passively quoting large chunks of quotes without purpose or focus.
Longoria skyrocketed to stardom in 2004 on "Desperate Housewives" as the sexy Gabrielle Soliz whose skin-tight jeans and skimpy dresses often raise the eyebrows -- not to mention the ire -- of the other neighborhood wives.
Here we get some background information on the subject. Note that the order (the timeline) is not in a straight line, nor need it be. Present is followed by past, back to present, future.
The show premiered on U.S. TV and became an instant hit. It averages more than 20 million U.S. viewers weekly and is now a global phenomenon seen in 200 countries.
But beyond the Hollywood glitz, Longoria holds a degree in kinesiology from Texas A&M University - Kingsville. She is a spokeswoman for Padres Contra el Cancer, which is dedicated to helping Latino kids with the disease, and works with the United Farm Workers labor union.
The writer here gives examples of a life beyond Hollywood.
She said it was "unfortunate" that in the United States -- a nation of immigrants -- some lawmakers want to deport illegal aliens and fence off the Mexico/U.S. border.
"Mexicans contribute an enormous amount to our society, economically and socially," she said. "I don't think this administration can afford to have things end badly."
Longoria has politics on her mind a lot these days, in real life and in the movies.
In "The Sentinel," she co-stars with Michael Douglas and Kiefer Sutherland. They play Secret Service agents who clash when the president's life is threatened by assassins. Longoria is a sharp rookie who is teamed with Sutherland in what is her first role in a major Hollywood movie.
She is not the headlining actress; her part supports the male leads. But Longoria said she was not looking to top movie marquees yet, and did not need the added pressure of being the sole star responsible for the film's box office.
"I wanted to be in a good, ensemble cast," she said. "It was an amazing opportunity to work with great actors in a less stressful environment."
Unlike many actors and actresses who proclaim that they do not plan careers and that roles just seem to come along, Longoria says she strategizes about her choices.
Note how the writer develops another theme: personal strategy, introduced in the above paragraph and developed below:
She graduated from college with plans to work in sports medicine and become a trainer for a professional sports team. Parker is a star player for basketball's San Antonio Spurs.
After bringing the subject's life to the present, the writer goes back to the past again:
Longoria never dreamed of movie stardom back on her family's ranch near the south Texas town of Corpus Christi.
"We couldn't afford to go to movies," she said.
Her fantasy was to be on TV. She won a modeling contest that sent her to Hollywood where she began building a resume. She did extra work, then bit parts on "Beverly Hills 90210" and small roles on soap operas like "The Bold and The Beautiful."
"I planned. It was definitely intentional," she said.
Note how the writer takes his subject to lower levels of generality: from general strategy, to movies, to a particular movie:
But movies -- not TV -- are the top rung on the career ladder for actors in Hollywood, so after only one season on "Desperate Housewives," she shot "The Sentinel" -- during her summer vacation.
Later this year, fans will see Longoria in a low-budget film "Harsh Times" that she shot over the Christmas holiday. She portrays a lawyer who grew up poor but became successful.
"It's a dark, dark drama. Very indie," she said. "Anytime you do a good independent film ... you're respected in a circle of critics and a circle in the industry. That was definitely a choice." "Harsh Times" is expected to be released this fall, just in time for Hollywood's Oscar season.
This is not an ideal profile, since it doesn't meet all the standards. For example, it's part publicity as well as profile. What would be a weak ending in a profile works well here since the goal really is to advertise the subject's next film (that's why stars give interviews). Also, the subject was probably interviewed by phone, so setting is non-existent. Finally, as already mentioned, the writer omits any physical description (this includes not only physical traits, but physical actions, like rubbing the nose, squinting, chain smoking, etc. all of which reveal character, whether in movies or in prose).
But clearly the writer lived up to the title, showing Longoria's "other side," giving examples, quoting speech, and adding background details to fill out his subject.
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