Above is a good introductory paragraph, leading into the main topic and topic sentence. What is the controlling idea of the first sentence below:
“THE BABY BOOMER generation is the first generation that is going into retirement carrying substantial credit-card debt,” says April Lewis-Parks, spokeswoman for the nonprofit group, which is now the nation’s fourth-largest credit-counseling agency. Lewis-Parks estimates that about 8 percent or more of their clientele now consists of those 55 and older—and that number is likely to keep growing.
Notice above how the writer uses one device, "quotation," to get started, expanding the topic. Then the writer uses another device, called "cause-effect" to expand/explain the topic (red). Then notice how pronoun substitutes improve coherence and help develop the essay. Because by replacing a subject noun with a pronoun, you not only develop the noun/subject, but link the sentences together. "John was unhappy. He failed his exam." Look for the word "some" in teh second sentence below. Antithesis with pronoun replacement also helps. "Some" but others ("those who'd already left") expands an idea with an opposed idea, another form of expanding (expansion). Then follows a quote, another form of expansion.
The drop in the value of many retirement funds over the past few years has made it hard for older Americans to enjoy the retirement many had expected without incurring more debt. Someopted to push off retirement a few years and keep working to earn extra income, but those who’d already left—or lost—their jobs had a tough time finding another one. “Rather than downsize their lifestyle, they are taking on more debt to maintain the same lifestyle,” says Steve Rhode, president and cofounder of Myvesta, a nonprofit organization that provides financial counseling services. “It used to be that folks 55 and older were fairly diligent about finances and were adverse to incurring any debt. Those in their 40s used to be the worst, but now the repayment terms are being extended and the economy is not good.”
Next the theme is developed with a different kind of quote, testimony. To make things simple, let's just call them all quotes! But you should recognize that quoting a person is not as strong as quoting a documented source, as below:
According to a report released last month by Demos, a nonpartisan New York-based advocacy organization, the average credit-card balance among Americans over the age of 65 climbed 149 percent between 1989 and 2001 (the most recent year for which that data was available) to more than $4,000. Those between the ages of 55 and 64 carried a similar amount of debt. By last year, according to a separate credit-card survey by Myvesta, the average credit-card debt among those between 55 and 64 had climbed to about $6,900—the highest amount of all the age groups surveyed. Those between 45 and 54 were not far behind, with an average of nearly $5,300 in credit-card debt.
In the next paragraph, the writer goes from "general" statistics to a "specific" person and expands this with a quotation from that person:
Dollie Hawkins was 83 and had nearly $10,500 in credit-card debt when she called up Consolidated Credit Counseling Services earlier this year. By then, the Miami woman’s $250 minimum monthly payment (based on a 17.5 percent annual interest rate, according to Hawkins) was eating up nearly a third of her monthly income from Social Security. A former nurse, Hawkins says she began paying with plastic after trying to find work repeatedly and unsuccessfully over the past 10 years after the doctors’ office where she’d worked for nearly two decades suddenly filed for bankruptcy. “I just didn’t know how I was going to make it,” says Hawkins.
The next paragraphs uses the device of cause-effect in the first sentence. By replacing "checks" with "payment" in the next sentence, the writer develops the idea with pronoun replacement, again helping coherence. In fact, "money," "tight," and "checks" all help develop an idea by replacement and keep coherence:
So when money got especially tight between checks, Hawkins paid for groceries, medicine and home repairs with plastic. Consolidated Credit Counseling Services was able to cut her payments by about $50 a month, but she still struggles to pay down her debt. “I never thought I would get in this shape,” she says.
Some more cause/effect along with quotation advances the topic:
David R. Johnson, director of Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Los Angeles, says many of the older clients who seek help from his agency had been coping financially for most of their lives but got into trouble after “loaning” money to their children or grandchildren or suffering an unexpected medical problem. “Their kids are fine and then suddenly one loses a job and so the parents step in to help, or the health costs don’t seem so bad, but then there is an injury or serious illness and suddenly the costs double, triple or quadruple,” he says.
The device of cause-effect is further divided into "soaring medical costs. "Costs" is itself another replacement of the topic "money." So you can see how important synonyms are; because, if nothing else, simply by breaking down a word into similar words you can discover most of your topic: Debt=money=costs=things that cost (medicine, etc.)=charges, etc. etc. This is followed by an anonymous (name not mentioned) example without quotation. Note how cause/effect is added to this device:
Many financial counselors cite soaring medical costs as one of the primary factors behind the increase in credit-card debt in this age group. The Demos report points out, for example, that the amount that Medicare beneficiaries spent on out-of-pocket medical expenses grew at a faster rate than their incomes did between 1993 and 2000. One 72-year-old retired nurse living in a Dallas suburb, who asked that her name not be used, says she was charging $1,500 to $2,000 worth of medicine a month at one point. She takes 13 pills a day for various health problems, but when she retired eight years ago, she lost the health insurance that covered it. She eventually got Medicare and additional help through her husband’s military benefits, but by then she had already sunk deep into credit-card debt. When she finally sought help, she had about $35,000 in debt.
Now the writer divides debtors into classes, and addresses the class of "high-income earners," and adds another example and quote:
Even high-income earners are not immune to being saddled with credit-card debt into retirement. Myvesta’s Rhode, who provides personal finance counseling to a number of high-income clients, says clients he coaches in the 55-plus age group have an average credit-card debt of about $75,000. “Some who are in the most in debt are those who appear the most outwardly successful,” he says.
The topic is further advanced using cause/effect and another quote:
While a five-figure debt might have seemed manageable when they were working, after retirement (or, in some cases, job loss) it became harder to pay down the debt. “Credit cards are so accessible and so acceptable now, that it seems OK to keep carrying a balance,” says Lewis-Parks. “But older people don’t have the income potential that younger people have; the ability to work and gain more income isn’t there. So they have a harder time getting rid of their credit-card debt. It’s really very sad.”
Now division is used again, in "other options." In fact, this whole paragraph uses division:
There are other financial options available to many seniors. Homeowners like Hawkins for example, could qualify for a reverse mortgage, which allows them to convert the value of their homes to income. Or they could sell their home and move into a smaller one, cutting down on utility costs like heating and electricity and earning them money on the sale. There are also state tax exemptions available to seniors and programs for low-income residents to help lower health-care costs.
Some more cause/effect ("seniors are unaware") and "credit-card companies" don't help, with more dividing of this idea, followed by example and quote:
But seniors are often unaware of other options and credit cards seem like an easy stop-gap solution. The credit-card companies themselves do little to dispel that myth. The Dallas woman who racked up $35,000 in credit-card debt says she had at least half a dozen cards, some of which she did not even apply for. And despite her debt, one card company boosted her credit limit to $25,000, though she was making just $35,000 a year before she retired. “There’s an attitude among consumers that ‘They wouldn’t give it [credit] to me if I couldn’t afford it’,” says Rhode. “But if you can’t afford to pay it off, you’re a prisoner.”
Now we get a neat conclusion. The writer cannot solve the issue of debt, but has a point of view, using quotation and example. By placing the former nurses's words last, the writer seems to agree with it, since it is in the strongest position. Notice how even in a reputable magazine, the article "a" was left out before "rainy day" (I inserted it in brackets).
To avoid reverting to credit cards in retirement, financial advisors recommend taking a proactive approach early on. “While things are going well, place money aside in emergency savings account, put money aside for [a] rainy day,” says Kelly Rote, spokeswoman for Money Management International, a nonprofit organization. The former nurse in Dallas, who still owes $19,000, has her own piece of advice: “Don’t use your credit cards if you can’t pay them at the end of the month,” she says. “Or just don’t use them at all. I wish I hadn’t.”
for next week, read this essay carefully (this means several times). Analyze it, break it down. See how what looks like a long essay (not that long really!) is really made up of simple units. Study word synonymity and pronoun replacement to help coherence and advance one's topic.
For the italicized words (words in italic), be sure you know what they mean, because you will be expected to know them by next week.
By the way, there are no excuses for email not working or servers not working or printers not working or forgetting or a pet dog chewing a computer disc.
Good luck.
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